Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Saturday, June 23, 2012
An avid photographer myself, I take thousands of snapshots, obsessively trying to capture and record the story of my life in images. It's really special once in a while though to have someone who really knows what he's doing take your portrait...
A talented photographer friend of mine, James Harvey, (check out his website at: http://www.jamesharveyphotography.com/) offered to take some maternity portraits of me. Seeing as this is likely the only time I'll ever be pregnant (this baby was an unexpected miracle as it is!) it only makes sense to commemorate it with images. I think this shot in the doorway is my favourite. With the light behind me it's like a gateway to the unknown. Light, symbolizing hope. A bright future, full of promise. I like the expression he captured here. I look a little nervous but expectant, happy and hopeful which basically sums up my feelings as I approach my due date.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
It's tough to stay cool. I don't have air-conditioning. Luckily I have a big tower oscillating fan. It is a life-saver. Last night I tried to sleep in the basement but I just lay there for hours so I finally went up to my bedroom, with my big fan next to me and the window open. Thankfully the air had cooled down somewhat and I got a little sleep.
It's not easy. I've heard the second trimester of pregnancy referred to as the honeymoon phase and it was pretty good overall. Well the honeymoon is over! I'm at 35 weeks and I'm a hot mess! The heat certainly isn't helping but it's not all I have to deal with these days. I've been overly emotional, weepy, irritable. I hung up on my mother a couple of times (she's a worrier and can be very negative. I just can't deal with it when I'm already stressed and going through enough.) I still have to sell my car which is a big stress. Finances are a stress. Impending labour is a stress. The biggest change in my life, the unknown is a stress. Not to mention what I'm going through physically.
Whether it's the pregnancy hormones, the stress or the heat or a combination of all three, my skin has been erupting in bumps like never before. I have a whole whack of new skin tags. I've read they are common in pregnancy and are harmless, they're just a nuisance. They have an over the counter solution you can use to remove them but I wouldn't be able to use it during pregnancy. So I'm stuck with them for now. On top of that I'm getting other sore bumps here and there. Pimples and blisters and boils, oh my! It's no wonder my skin gets irritated given that I'm overflowing with hormones, carrying so much extra weight, have developed new folds here and there, am sweating profusely. I have a painful bump on my inner thigh which gets rubbed every time I walk because my legs touch now. I tried to put cream and a bandage on it but it doesn't stay because of the rubbing and the sweat. The only way I can keep my legs from touching is to try to walk bowl-legged which of course looks ridiculous. There are fewer and fewer clothes that fit me now and some of the things I was anxious to wear I am now apparently allergic to. My skin is so itchy (particularly my chest) that I can't stand anything against it that isn't soft cotton. I'm wondering now if a lot of the tops have nylon in them and I'm allergic to nylon. Not all of them have labels to tell you what the fabric is. They never bothered me before but my skin is different now. It seems my skin, and me, are much more sensitive these days.
Sometimes it's just overwhelming. Yesterday I just went down to the basement, curled into a ball and cried. My cat, Ali came to comfort me. She was so sweet. She even let out the cutest little cry. It's a sound I've never heard her make before. It's like she understands. She purred and snuggled up next to me until I felt better. Sometimes a good cry is all you need. Just a release. And I know a lot of it is hormones. I did some reading online and everything I was going through (the stress and the tears and the bumps) was all normal. That helps somewhat.
I met a friend for brunch today which was nice and then did a bit of shopping. When I waddled into one store from outside the clerk shook her head and smiled at me "You poor thing. You must REALLY be feeling this heat." "Oh yeah. And I don't have A/C at home."
In another store the cashier said "Pregnant in the Summer? You didn't plan that very well!"
"Honey I didn't plan it at all! Biggest surprise of my life!"
I was walking back to my car and was worried I would spontaneously combust so I ducked into a furnishings store just to get a breath of refreshing conditioned air. I guess my breathing had them a little worried and they asked me to sit down. It was a relief to sink into a soft chair in the cool store. "Ahhhh." The problem was it was hard to get up afterward!
I've reached a number on the scale that I never thought I would see in my lifetime. I know it's only temporary but it is still rather surreal. I try to keep my sense of humour about it. I'm thinking of learning to speak whale. (If you don't know Dory from "Finding Nemo" this won't really make much sense to you!)
Speaking of whales, I love this little Whale nightlight I got from the people at work! I had been wanting to find a sea theme nightlight for the nursery and didn't have much luck. This one is just perfect!
I also love this pink stuffed whale they gave me. She even plays music. I can't resist when I see any cute fish themed items to add to the nursery. I'm glad that people were paying attention and found some more ocean treasures for me.
I'm happy with the nursery. I can't wait to have the furniture (when my brother in law brings the crib, rocker and change table in his truck) and see it finished.
Of course I was obsessed with the ocean long before I started decorating the nursery. My Mom asked if my dreams of living on a tropical island were gone after suffering through this heat. I said no of course not. I won't always be pregnant (actually I would venture to say that I will likely NEVER be pregnant again! This miracle baby is my first, last and only. Unless I meet the most incredible man on Earth and love him so much that I'm willing and/or insane enough to attempt it again if he had his heart set on a child. Did I really just say that?! OK. It is HIGHLY UNLIKELY. But if there's one thing I've learned about life it's that it surprises you. My experiences in the past nine months have all been highly unlikely and against the odds, but here I sit. You just never know!) Anyway, no Mom I am not giving up on the whole island thing. I would still love it. Besides if I lived right near the ocean, the heat wouldn't be such a problem. I'd jump in right now! I suppose I could still drive to the beach here though there isn't one all that close. I should hit the beach at least once while pregnant. Just for kicks. I have a tankini that accommodates the belly...