Back in the days before I knew I was going to have a child, I referred to the things I created -- my poems, songs and paintings -- as my "babies." It used to be very hard for me to part with my artwork. It was kind of silly. As an artist, you hope to sell some of your pieces -- that's the whole point to painting in the first place. Over the years I only sold a few paintings and each time it was difficult to let them go. I really did consider them my "babies." I had created them and lived with them for so long that they felt like members of my family. When I sold one of my favourites -- "Wind" -- I actually cried.
Singing on stage, my art in the background
There was a local bar that used to have an open mike for songwriters and they also exhibited work by local artists, a different artist every month. I was thrilled when they let me show my work there. Being a featured performer during the same month was a dream come true. It was kind of surreal being able to sing my songs and show my artwork in public at the same time. It felt like I was sharing the moment with my "girls" on the wall. I received a lot of compliments on my work but I never expected to actually sell a painting there. It was a bar, after all, not somewhere people would be looking to buy artwork.
at Manhattans -- "Wind" painting in centre.
I got a call from a man whose wife had fallen in love with one of my portraits, "Wind." He told me that his wife had given up a baby for adoption when she was younger. It was an "open adoption" and she was still in contact with the adoptive family. They sent her pictures of her daughter through the years. Her daughter was now a teenager and apparently looked exactly like the girl in my painting. I was so touched by the story that I couldn't say no. I couldn't imagine ever giving up a child for adoption. I had a hard enough time parting with a painting! I cried when I said goodbye to her. At the same time it was very rewarding to know that she would be hanging in someone's home and that she would be loved. It was also exciting to actually sell my artwork. I felt like a real artist now.
I painted another version of "Wind" because I missed her. The new version was quite different but I was still happy with it. Any time I sold a piece I tried to make another copy for myself but they were never quite the same.
I exhibited my artwork in a couple of other galleries and shows. It was a win-win situation. If I didn't sell any pieces, I was happy that I got to bring them back home where they belonged. If I did sell something then I felt gratified that someone liked my work enough to own it. I did some custom portraits for people as well. For a while I was painting almost every day. I seemed to go through phases where I craved writing, phases where music was everything and other phases where I lived to paint. As long as I was being creative, I was happy.
Art on the Street show
Art in the Window show
After a trip to the Dominican Republic, I wanted to create a tropical ocean view in my bedroom so I painted several canvases with palm trees and ocean vistas. My bedroom had been decorated in subdued earth tones but I added tropical splashes of colour -- a new quilt and pillows in bright shades of turquoise and fuschia. If I couldn't live on an island, I would bring the island to me. I even created a beach in my backyard, with sand and a tropical garden -- everything but the ocean. The ocean theme began to take over my entire house. There were shells, seahorses, mermaids, palm trees everywhere.
Painting was a way to escape, I would lose myself in it. I filled my entire house with my artwork. I remember when I first moved into my house it didn't feel like home until I put my paintings up. It was like having members of my family all around me. Many people have told me that I put a little of myself into each painting.
Then for a long while I didn't paint at all. A boyfriend had given me three large canvases as a gift hoping to inspire me to pick up the brush again but they sat there blank for months.
When I was decorating the nursery for the baby I wanted to do an ocean theme and was inspired to finally paint the three large square canvases with mermaids and babies. It felt good to paint again. I had missed it. Michelle was fascinated by the painting that hung over the change table and stared at it everytime she lay there.
Last year in February, after Michelle's father left me, I was in financial trouble and looking for ways to make money. (He had left owing me money, prince that he was, and had run up my bills before he left. Also some unexpected expenses came up so it was just a brutal month all around!) I sold many items on Kijiji trying to make ends meet and one of the customers who came to the door admired my artwork in the hallway. She wound up buying a few of my paintings. I sold them for a fraction of what I normally would have because I needed the money desperately to buy a new washer (my washing machine had just died on top of everything else.) Though they were a few of my favourites it didn't have the same sting as selling "Wind" did. My priorities were different now. There was a real baby on the way and she meant everything to me. I'd do whatever I had to for her. I do still plan to do new versions of them one of these days. I didn't get around to it while I was pregnant and it's close to impossible to paint these days. Maybe when Michelle is older she'll be interested in art and we can paint side by side.
When I was talking to a friend about not painting anymore she said that now my baby is my masterpiece, my greatest creation of all. She's right.
Recently I was inspired to write a song for Michelle called "You're the best." It begins --
"Of all the things I've made and done, my life's greatest feats --
You're my favourite one, you're my masterpiece.
Of all the things I've seen -- beautiful and new,
nothing can compare, my sweet love, to you."
Here's a video of it on Youtube. "You're the best" -- music and lyrics by Ann Marie Pincivero:
Before I ever knew that I'd be a Mom someday I remember hearing about mothers "giving up their dreams" when they had children -- leaving careers, artistic pursuits, etc to devote themselves to their children. Now that I'm a mother myself I understand that it's not as though you "give up" your dreams, it's just that your dreams change and priorities shift once you have a child. Suddenly your baby is everything. Anything that seemed important before pales in significance. That's not to say that I will never paint again. I will. I still write songs. I still need to express myself creatively. It's just that many of the things I used to do have to wait a while now. Michelle takes up 99% of my time.
Of all my creations, she is the most unique, the most precious. I am so grateful for her. She is my magnum opus, my masterpiece.
I'm not in the driver's seat anymore. Baby has taken over -- my body, my car, my home, my life. And that's before she even makes her grand entrance in July! I am so OWNED.
My adorable nephew!
Strangely prophetic...I love this photo. It was the Fall of 2010 and I had just gotten my dream car, the Mazda MX5 Miata. My sister sat my nephew in the driver's seat. I love his expression! It looks like he really is driving. I can picture him saying "Man, can you believe this traffic?!" I never imagined a year and a half later that a baby really would be taking my cute little car from me.
I loved this car. I used to call it "my baby." Now there's a new baby in town and I have to sell my beloved Miata. You can't put a child carseat in a two-seater convertible. At first I wasn't sure what I was going to do. I didn't drive the car through the winter anyway (it was supposed to have snow tires to be safe for driving on snow and ice and I couldn't afford them.) Thankfully my parents gave me their much more practical 4-door sedan to use. Now I just have to sell the MX5 because frankly the payments are killing me and it would be insane to keep making payments I can't afford on a car that I can't even drive (for about 12 years until my child would be old enough to be a passenger. Yeah. Not really a plan.) So I've posted ads and am hoping to find the right buyer...Speaking of which...
If you're in the Oakville area (that's Oakville, Ontario, Canada!) and in the market for a new-ish convertible or know someone who is, please let me know ASAP! I have to sell this car and the sooner the better. You can email me at amp2sell@gmail.com if you're interested in the car. (This is just my email for selling stuff. Please mention the car and/or my blog or ad in the subject line. I get a lot of spam mail and don't open emails from people I don't know unless the subject line explains why they're writing. If you want to email me about my blog, my music, pregnancy, babies, being a single Mom etc then please use my regular email: ampmusic1@gmail.com)
Love at first sight...
It was the Fall of 2010. My old, much more practical, much less glamorous, little car had died. (Muffler fell off, brakes were shot, the list goes on.) It was a good little car that got me from A to B for a decade. I didn't want to invest money into fixing an old car. I was feeling a little more daring and wanted to live a little. On the radio Mazda was advertising 0% financing. You can't argue with 0% interest! I took it as a sign. This time, I was getting the car of my dreams. I had loved the Mazda Miata since it came out in the 90's. It was just such a cute car. The dealership didn't actually have one on the lot. They had sold out of them in the Summer and it being Fall they didn't plan to get more in. They tried to talk me into a more practical car they had on the lot. I took one for a test drive. It was a nice car but my heart belonged to another. Passion trumped practicality.
I shook my head and told the salesman "I'm sorry. I like it as a friend. I'm not in love."
He laughed. "I've never heard anyone talk about a car that way before!"
"Yes," I admitted, "I'm a little strange." No. I couldn't settle again. I was following my heart. I was making changes in my life. Life is so short, why not live it to the fullest? It wasn't easy to get. Apparently there were only two silver automatic Miata convertibles left in all of Ontario. It didn't matter. I had made up my mind. They shipped one in for me. As soon as I got behind the wheel, I knew I had made the right decision.
Most of my life I had talked myself out of things. I tried to be sensible, to be practical. I was afraid to take risks. I played it safe. But that's not really living. I wanted something more. Something beautiful and extraordinary. I wanted passion, adventure. I wanted to live the life of my dreams. This was more than a car to me. It represented a new phase of my life where I allowed myself to go for the things I really wanted, without being talked out of it. To follow my heart. To be bold. I couldn't believe it was really mine. And I couldn't wait to go on a road trip. Thankfully the weather was cooperative. It was a warm September and I was making the most of it!
I'd had this image in my mind of what it would be like, having seen shows and movies where they hit the road in a convertible. It looked like so much fun. The real thing far surpassed my dreams. On a sunny day, driving with the top down, tunes blaring, wind in my hair, singing with the radio -- I felt so alive, so free, so happy. I learned the hard way to slather on the sunblock BEFORE the drive though because when I'd head to the beach (Grand Bend, Port Dover, Sauble Beach, Wasaga Beach etc) I'd often be sunburned before I even made it there! I never used to like driving but it was different in this car. I loved driving it. Every trip was an adventure. Watching birds or planes fly over head. The sun beaming down on me, or at night seeing a blanket of stars above my head. It was magical. I cherished every moment in that car. Whatever sacrifices I had to make (the hour-long hikes home from work in the snow because I couldn't drive it in the winter, the payments which weren't easy -- it was a bit beyond my means) were worth it to have those moments in my MX5. My dream was to make the ultimate road trip south of the border, to Florida, to California. In May of 2011, I got to do just that. I was dating someone (a Hungarian Scorpio) who had a friend living in a condo on the beach in Daytona, Florida. We could stay with him. I had vacation time booked. I'd just celebrated my 42nd birthday. Now I was making my dream road trip in my dream car with my dream man. Life was good.
I am so grateful that I got to have that experience. I will never forget it as long as I live. I remember a couple of times while we were on the way I felt like I had to pinch myself. Could I be dreaming? Was this really happening? I was so happy it brought tears to my eyes. Getting there was an adventure. Being in Florida was a dream. His friend was amazing. He was very spiritual and his Zen apartment had such a great positive energy. I felt like I was in a movie. Life was almost too perfect. I took hundreds of photos, many of which were of my beau. He looked like he belonged in Florida. The typical surfer dude -- 6'2" blond, blue-eyed, tanned, slender chiselled six-pack god of a man. I loved his accent (he sounded like Dracula.) I loved that he was artistic, philosophical, sensitive, sensual, passionate. Of course he had tragic flaws (don't they always?!) Financial issues, emotional issues, life issues (an ex-wife from Hell being one). Drama and problems that I couldn't fix. We fell apart in July. He flew back to Hungary to find himself. I tried to mend my broken heart by dating a score of idiots. Men who were pretty on the outside but had nothing on the inside. Or men who were sort of nice but were boring and I felt no connection or chemistry with. Or men who wanted nothing more than a one-night stand (and although my sex drive was OFF THE CHARTS I'm just not built that way. I'm a sensitive girl. It has to be love. I wanted another boyfriend.) Then in October I managed to find another complicated, dangerous, sexy 6'2" Scorpio and fall head over heels for him. In a billion years I never imagined he'd get me pregnant. And then abandon me. But scorpions sting, don't they?
So here I am. It's been a wild ride. You just never know where the journey will lead, what awaits you around each twist in the winding road. What detours you might take. Places you never planned to go but that wind up being the most beautiful. And in the end you realize that it was destiny and you wouldn't change a thing. Yes, I've hit a major bump in the road of life, but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. This baby is my greatest adventure. Being a single Mom is the most daring thing I've ever done. It wasn't something I ever imagined for myself but my maternal instincts kicked in almost immediately when I found out I was pregnant. I would do anything for this baby. She is everything to me. She's worth selling the car of my dreams.
I will miss my little Miata..I wrote him a song in the winter (at the time I was still in the first trimester. I wasn't ready to announce my pregnancy yet. I let on as though I was just saying goodbye to the car for the season but I knew in all likelihood I'd have to say goodbye to him for good...)
It doesn't end there. The baby changes everything. My figure. My lifestyle, habits, diet. My priorities. No more dancing on Friday nights for me. No more dating (mind you, given my choices in love, that's probably for the better! Being pregnant and having a newborn definitely put my dating life on hold for a while. But even after that it will be a LONG time before I could trust a man again. And he'd have to be pretty extraordinary to be allowed into my baby's life. I may have made some reckless choices in my own life, but I will not let some jerk into my child's life. No way, no day.)
I'm starting to kid-proof my home. I've replaced my glass and chrome coffee table with a softer, more sensible storage ottoman:
My pre-baby glass & chrome coffee table
My new baby-friendly coffee table
A storage ottoman for baby toys (thanks to my sis for the toys!)
I never pictured me as a Mom. I thought I was too immature, too selfish. I liked my freedom, liked sleeping in. It's amazing how much it changes you, once you know that you are responsible for another life. Your child becomes more important than yourself. You love them so much you just do whatever you need to do for them. An all-encompassing love and sense of protectiveness kicks in. It's instinctual.
Body and soul, I give myself to this baby. She is my life now. She is what matters most. It's you and me, kid! You're behind the wheel, baby, taking me places I never thought I'd go! Lead the way, we're in for quite an adventure!
And who knows what the future holds? Anything can happen. Maybe I'll win the lottery or something. Sure. Down the road I may have a convertible again. Maybe a four-seater. Maybe one day I will make that road trip to Cali, with my little girl at my side...
At this point, I'm just happy to have a car that can fit a stroller.
I still have the car! I wasn't able to sell it and couldn't afford the payments any longer so my sister suggested I have it built into my mortgage. Now that I own it at least it takes the urgency off selling it . Obviously though as a single Mom on a tight budget I could certainly use the money right now! I took it off the market over Winter (who buys a convertible in the winter? Especially a brutal snowy one like we just had.) Now that it's Spring I've put an ad on Kijiji again:
If you are in the Oakville (Ontario, Canada) area and in the market for a silver automatic 2010 Mazda MX5 Miata, please let me know! It's rare to find an MX5 in an automatic so if you don't drive standard this would be perfect for you. For those that do drive standard the car does have a switch to convert it to manual.
I suppose if I'm not able to sell it I could drive it again someday when Michelle is old enough...
According to Mom, I was practically born singing. Even before I could talk. Apparently at just 8 months old, I could sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" in perfect tune. I just didn't quite have the words down yet...It came out something like "Up a, up a, up a tar." Hey, I was close!
When company was over my Mom would encourage me to perform for them. A shy toddler I would start by singing quietly, hiding behind the couch. Once I got over the butterflies and heard sounds of approval from the audience, I'd come out of hiding, singing loudly and proudly. I loved the attention. I was hooked. As a pre-teen I used to write musicals and perform them with my brothers and friends for the neighbours. The garage made a perfect stage, with the garage door as a curtain. As a teen, I was involved in high school musicals and talent shows. One year I was Boy George (remember Culture Club?! Really showing my age now! Yes I was an 80s kid!) The next year I was Madonna. When I sang "Material Girl" I even had a routine worked out where I threw monopoly money. The audience loved it. It was an amazing night. The next day at school, I felt like a celebrity. People kept stopping me in the hallways and complimenting me. Normally I was so shy and quiet but I always came to life on stage. A shy exhibitionist -- half of me needed to hide, the other half craved the spotlight.
Being a singer had always been one of my dreams (along with being a writer, an artist, actress, dancer, photographer.) I dabbled in a few things but never really threw myself into anything. I let fear talk me out of things. The dreamer in me always seemed to be held back by my practical, cautious side. I always had to have a "real job" to pay the bills.
One boyfriend that I dated (probably the sweetest one ever. If he'd only had a job!) Rich taught me how to play basic guitar chords. Something just clicked. I'd been writing poetry my whole life. The words always came naturally to me. Now that I had the music, songs started flooding out. I couldn't play guitar very well but it's amazing how many songs you can create out of just a few chords. As Harlan Howard put it "Country music is three chords and the truth." The Sony store had a contest for a "Creative Dreamer" where you could win one of several products (a computer, a camera or an LCD TV) by doing something creative to promote the product. My Mom suggested I write a song for Sony. So I did. And I won! I was thrilled with my little Sony LCD TV. They've really come down in price but at the time it retailed for close to $4000. It's still my favourite TV with the best sound and clearest picture.
When I performed my songs for people, they were very enthusiastic. One guy I met, a host at a Karaoke night I went to, was a songwriter himself. He was amazed that I had already written close to 100 songs in just a year or two. He said he'd been writing for 10 years and didn't have 100 songs. After hearing a few of my songs he said they were catchy and powerful and that I was really onto something. This was what I was meant to do. Within a few years I had hundreds of songs. Now I just needed somewhere to play them.
At Manhattans' Bistro
At the River Run Centre
When I moved to Guelph, I heard about a bar with an open stage every Monday night, Manhattans. I hadn't performed my original songs up on a stage before and I was terrified. People were very supportive. Particularly one dark-haired smiling guy standing by the bar who raised his arms and exclaimed "I'm your biggest fan!" A fellow songwriter and a fellow Taurus, Kev would become my boyfriend for the next four years. He was awesome. A bit of a mentor to me in some ways. He believed in me and helped me to believe in myself. He introduced me to "The Secret" -- The Law of Attraction. I began to think positive and started to attract positive things. I realized that the "bad luck" that I seemed to have for much of my life was largely self-inflicted. My negativity actually attracted the very things I feared. If I could just learn to be positive, I could attract good things for a change. It worked. Magic started to happen. After years of not acting, I wound up with a role in a film and got to see myself on the big screen for the first time. I got to show and sell my artwork, had my photography featured and with Kev's help created a CD which received rave reviews in the paper, ended up on the radio, in newspapers. It was a whirlwind.
Manhattans stopped having the Songwriter's Cafe on Mondays but it was an amazing venue while it lasted. Kev & I were regulars every week. It was our second home. A wonderful community of fellow songwriters. We even set a new Guinness World Record at Manhattans in November 2006 -- the longest concert of continuous original music. About 60 songwriters all banded together to perform for 200 hours (we actually ended up doing 201 hours just 'cuz!) with just a minute between songs and a couple of minutes between performer change-overs. It was incredible. The pressure was on. If you had to go to the bathroom, you held it until someone else could take over. If someone didn't show up, you just kept playing. 24-7 right through the wee hours of the morning. I performed my original songs for a total of 11 hours during that time and even ended up on the front page of the local paper! I was thrilled! The clerk at the convenience store was about to ask why I was buying 10 copies until she caught a glimpse of the photo, did a double-take and went "Oh." She didn't seem very impressed. I was on Cloud 9. Eventually all of us were sent our own certificates from the Guinness World Records and there was a blurb about us in the hardcover book under Human Achievements Team Efforts (page 104 of the Guinness World Records 2009.) If only they hadn't misspelled Guelph! (They printed Gelph. Hey, they were close.)
At the famous Bluebird Cafe, Nashville
It seemed like Kev and I were meant to be. We had so much in common. Especially our passion for music. It was a treat to be able to perform together. We formed a duo and played gigs in venues around Guelph and Erin, including the Woolwich Arms and a couple of Rotary club events, including opening for Ribfest.
Kev and I went on a musical pilgrimage to Nashville and Memphis. The perfect roadtrip for a pair of songwriters. It was an incredible adventure. We got to play at the famous Bluebird Cafe where so many Country stars had started out. We even sang at the gates of Graceland for tourists passing by.
At the gates of Graceland, Memphis
Kev offered to produce a CD of my songs. They were my original songs and I provided the vocals and backing vocals. He added everything else -- a one man band and studio whiz -- he created all the instrumentation, did all the mixing and mastering. It was called "Magnetic", and featured songs inspired by the Secret. (If you're interested it's still available on CDBaby -- see link at the side of the page!) It was a long difficult road to bring it to fruition but finally in 2008, it was finished. The CD release party was incredible. The band was phenomenal thanks to Kev who brought together some of the best local musicians. He also had colourful lights set up, a great sound system. It was a dream come true. I felt like a rock star. I wished I could keep the band but they each had their own bands and projects, it was just for that one night that they came together for us.
Magnetic CD Release party -- photo by J Harvey
We performed all the songs from the CD and closed the evening with a song that Kevin and I had co-written about our trip to Nashville and Memphis -- "Four Hours to Memphis." See video below:
Though we had done shows as a duo, Kev wanted to start doing gigs with a full band again (he had been in a band for several years before I met him). He put together a band and we played at local bars. It was a lot of fun. Performing with Kevin was a blast. In some ways we seemed to be a match made in Heaven. Unfortunately in other ways we were a match from Hell. It can be tough being involved with a fellow entertainer. There seems to be a bit of competitiveness, a power struggle. Kev always wanted to run the show. He was the lead singer. I was the back-up. In a setlist of 12 songs he'd let me sing two. It seemed like he didn't want to share the spotlight...
Kev & I had always been a bit of a rollercoaster. Too alike in some ways, too different in others and both stubborn Tauruses who needed to be in control and to be right. Two bulls can lock horns pretty often. It didn't seem like we would last in the long run. As much as I wanted it to work (we'd already invested so many years into it), I couldn't see a future for us. I asked the Universe for a sign and got one. It was time to move on. It was difficult saying goodbye not only to Kevin but to his kids who I loved very much (funny how I'd always said I didn't want kids but I ended up in a relationship with someone who had children and I ADORED them. They were awesome. Brilliant and funny. We had so many good times together.) It broke my heart to say goodbye but I knew it was for the best. It seemed we were heading in different directions. I had reached a fork in the road and knew it was time to make a change. To follow a different path. Leaving Kev of course also meant getting kicked out of the band. I stopped going to the bars and stages we used to frequent in case I ran into him and his friends there. It was like saying goodbye to the musical part of my life. I stopped performing in public at all.
I continued to sing and write songs on my own and posted them on my Youtube channel. In January of 2011 I had this insane notion to post a song a day all year and made it a New Year's Resolution. It was the first resolution I felt obligated to keep because I had announced it publicly on Youtube. I had so many original songs that no one had ever heard so I figured if I posted another original song each day then at least 365 of them would be out there. It was tough finding the time with everything else going on but I managed to keep it up all year. Instead of just recording the songs I'd already written, I wound up writing more. I ended up with close to 700 songs! Youtube became like a video diary of my life. Each new relationship, break-up and event in my life inspired me to write new songs which I would then post on the net.
When I found out I was pregnant, I HAD to write about it, but I wasn't quite ready to share the news with the world. I found a sneaky way to write about the baby without making it obvious. I wrote "Never counted on Yes" about my pregnancy test in November, "Flicker" about my first ultrasound in December. Once news of the baby was out, I created a playlist of the songs I've written for/about the baby so far. (There's a link to the playlist if you scroll down to the bottom of the page. Just click on the ultrasound photo!)
I had always loved singing lullabies. When my oldest nephew (now 30!) was a baby, I loved singing him to sleep. To be able to make a baby stop crying, to feel safe and happy and relaxed enough to fall asleep is an incredible feeling. Better than an audience of thunderous applause! Babies can be a tough audience! If you can please them, you're doing something right!
Some lullabies are pretty odd if you really pay attention to the words. In "Rock a bye baby" -- why is the baby in the tree to start with? "Hush little baby" -- includes a list of gifts I'm pretty sure you would NEVER give an infant ranging from a bird to a diamond to farm animals. I always loved "The Littlest Lamb" lullabye from the Flintstones (the episode with Ann Margrock -- I thought she was so cool. I wanted to be just like her.) Since I've been pregnant I found that Flintstone lullabye on Youtube, learned the words and I've been singing it to the baby, in utero. I know that she hears me. She responds to my voice. I sing to her at night, in the bath, in the car, throughout the day. My favourite lullabye is Gershwin's "Summertime" a bluesy version of which I'd performed with Kev as a duo. My Mom always used to sing "Too Ra Lu Ra Lu Ra" (Irish Lullabye.) I guess my mother's love of singing was passed on to me.
I wanted to write my own lullabyes for my baby. I came up with this one so far. "Lullabye":
I have written so many love songs through the years but since being pregnant I've realized that there is no love as deep or as pure as the love you feel for your child. I was inspired to write "Love of My Life" for my baby. She truly is the love of my life -- and I haven't even met her yet! I feel like I get to know her personality each time she moves. It's like our own secret communication that no one else shares. She responds when I talk, sing, laugh, dance, take a bath. It is such a strong bond, unlike anything else I've experienced. Love of My Life:
This is my most recent post -- "Expecting Unexpectedly" -- which is self-explanatory:
I will continue writing and singing songs for my baby and posting them on Youtube.
Your dreams don't ever really leave you. Even if it seems like you've given up on them. They're still there. They just alter a little as life changes. I wanted to be a singer/songwriter and I am. I may not be a rockstar performing on a stage with a band and lights and applause but an audience of one can be even more special.
My most important and most rewarding gig ever is coming up in July -- singing my baby to sleep.
Then for a long while I didn't paint at all. A boyfriend had given me three large canvases as a gift hoping to inspire me to pick up the brush again but they sat there blank for months.
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