Tuesday, October 9, 2012


Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on all the things you are thankful for. Though it has been a difficult year, it has also been my best and I know that I am very blessed. I am most grateful for my family, both my big wacky family of 15 and my little family of two, Michelle and me (well three actually if you include Ali, my tabby cat!) I am most thankful for Michelle -- by far the biggest and the sweetest surprise of my entire life. My angel, my miracle, my everything.

On Saturday we celebrated Thanksgiving at my sister's place. Her hubby's family was there as well so it was quite the crowd and with the kids running amok, it got pretty loud! I was relieved that Michelle was so good though I did have to carry her most of the time. My sister gave my arms a bit of a break by taking her for a few minutes. Reggie was getting jealous so she picked him up too. I was impressed! I have a hard enough time holding my 12 lb baby. I don't know how she can carry Reggie who's at least 3 times that. She said that at least when they're a bit bigger you can rest them on your hip so your arm/wrist isn't taking all the weight. She also explained that you get used to it and build up your arm strength over time. I'm still a newbie Mom. I've only been doing this for two months now. I guess I'll be Hercules before too long!

Of course Thanksgiving is also a time to gorge yourself on too much food and slip into a turkey coma! I have always loved turkey dinners with stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy. My sister and her hubby made two turkeys, one in the oven and one smoked on the BBQ. It was delicious but somewhat awkward for me to eat as I had to gobble it down, eating with one hand and holding Michelle with the other. Thankfully I managed to get through it without dripping gravy in her hair. A couple of people offered to take her while I ate but she cried for Mama. Someone else cut my turkey up for me at least. As much as I love turkey, it's something I never make myself. To date I have only made turkey ONCE (for the whole family at Christmas in my new house after I'd just moved in.) It turned out pretty well but it was stressful, took hours longer than expected and may have taken years off my life! I'm no Martha Stewart. I wasn't much for entertaining even before the baby so there's no WAY I'd attempt to cook a big meal now that I have Michelle. When the family comes to my place for special occasions, I order pizza or chinese food.

As much as I enjoy getting together with the family, it can be somewhat overwhelming for Michelle and for me. So after a hectic day with the whole gang on Sunday, I decided to take it easy the next day. Michelle and I celebrated Thanksgiving Monday by doing a whole lotta nothing! We didn't go out at all. We just stayed in our pjs all day. She'd wake up to feed and then we'd both go back to sleep. There is an italian expression "La dolce di fare niente" -- the sweetness of doing nothing. They mention it in "Eat, Pray, Love" (one of my favourite films, by the way!) Sometimes you just have to take a breather. Take time to just enjoy life instead of rushing around trying to do too much. We could learn a lot from the italians (and being half italian myself, I suppose it's in my blood!) They don't live to work. Family is the most important thing. Life is a celebration. Take time to eat, to live, to love. Enjoy life's simple pleasures. Sadly it seems to be a North American thing to live to work, to stress out about doing more, having more. People are so busy trying to earn more money to buy the latest gadgets that they forget what really matters. I've known people that were such workaholics that they couldn't even relax when they got home. They always needed to be doing something, working on some project, going somewhere. They couldn't stay still. But a little stillness is good for the soul. I try to balance it out so that if Michelle and I have a really busy day, the next day we'll take a breather.

I'm not sure if it's because of these little breathers but I'm thankful that Michelle seems to be settling down, behaving better overall. Though she still has her bad days and moments, they are fewer and farther between. She doesn't seem to fuss as much and is more easily placated. She also seems to be getting more affectionate. When I hold her she nuzzles into me more and holds me tight. Sometimes she even grabs for my hand. She smiles and coos and tries to have a conversation with me and it's so adorable. I try to respond back with the same sounds she makes so that she'll feel like she's really communicating. I can't wait until she actually starts to speak.

A friend was telling me that the best is yet to come, was saying how much more fun kids are when they start talking and walking around but also warned me I will have to seriously overhaul my living room before Michelle is on the move. I thought my living room was pretty child friendly now with my storage ottomans instead of a glass and chrome table but apparently I still have a ways to go yet. They were suggesting I remove my books and bookcases. I have no intention of doing that. I just hope she doesn't show an interest in the books (as in pulling them out and ripping them apart as my friend suggested she would.)

I can't believe how the days fly by now. We're already into October. Michelle fills my days. She demands most of my time but I don't mind. I love being with her and I also appreciate the moments to myself while she's sleeping. I'm finding that when it comes to time it's about quality, not quantity. I may only get half an hour to myself but I savour it. So many things that I used to take for granted are a treat now. I'm enjoying the simple things. Most of all I cherish each day with Michelle. They go by so fast. I get up with her in the morning and before I know it, it's noon, then it's dinnertime, then it's bedtime. Some days it's nice to get out with her and visit family or friends, run errands, go for walks. Other days I love just staying in with her, sometimes just staying in my pjs all day and having cat naps when she does.

It still blows my mind that a person who didn't even exist a year ago is now the most important person in my life. She's everything to me. I adore her. I didn't even know it was possible to love someone this much. It's unlike anything else I've ever experienced. I was always a love junkie and dove headfirst into a lot of really bad relationships looking for "real love." I wanted to find that one special person to share the rest of my life with. Someone who could make me laugh. Someone who would be there for me no matter what. Someone beautiful inside and out who would inspire me, make me want to be my best self. Someone to wake up with every day. Someone to cuddle with each night. And now I have her.

I am so thankful for Michelle. She really is a miracle. I never expected to have a child, especially at this stage in my life. I had no idea how much it would change me, how happy I would be. These days with Michelle are the happiest days of my life. It seems strange that only a year ago I was a single girl who didn't want to settle down. I thought I wanted to be carefree, wanted excitement, adventure and romance. But now there is nothing I could do, nowhere I could go, no one I could meet that could compare to Michelle. She is the one. My real love. My life partner. My present and my future. My dream come true, beyond my wildest dreams. I wouldn't trade her for the world. 

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