The Ottoman Empire

Michelle can stand for several seconds holding onto the ottoman. She likes to "walk" around (with me, hunched over, guiding her and my back is definitely paying the price!) and cruise down the hallway or move from one ottoman, stool, couch -- or any other object of the right height -- to the next. She wobbles like a drunk old man leaving a pub, staggering and holding on to things. It's only a matter of time, I suppose, before she can do it on her own and then a whole other world of stress will begin. As much as my back could use the break, I know that once she is truly mobile, I'm in serious trouble. I still have to install the baby gates, remove all the breakables and put plugs and child safety closures on everything. I've been reading "What to Expect the First Year" and it has me REALLY stressed out. Things I never would have thought about, like those door stopper spring thingys that go boing -- apparently the plastic part can come off and is a choking hazard? I really don't know what I'm going to do short of removing everything from my home. Even with that, the main floor is hardwood and ceramic tile. Very unforgiving when she falls. Though I changed out my glass coffee table with a storage ottoman, there are still other hard surfaces and corners to bump into. I can't cover everything with padding. Even in her nursery she could bang her head on the dresser or bookcase. She's already been scooching around, pulling herself as opposed to crawling and I've had to stop her short before she banged her head on something. My stress level is starting to rise.

I got a video of her walking with me down my hallway. She has been practicing her steps at my sister's place and mine. She was almost running for a while here but she seems to have slowed down somewhat. Or maybe she was a little camera shy (any time I try to capture something on video she won't do it. I should try to hide the camera!) Here is the video on Youtube:

I kept waiting for things to get easier. In some ways they had. She was behaving better in the car and out in public, not fussing as much. She sleeps for the most part in the car and even when she wakes up seems interested in looking out the window. She was eating well and sleeping well. Her new routine was oatmeal at 7 pm and then nursing her at 8 pm after which she'd fall asleep and only wake up to nurse and go back to sleep every few hours. Amazing! I could actually get things done. Until suddenly one night she woke up after five minutes (while I was trying to grab a shower) and wouldn't settle down until midnight. Then she still woke up at the crack of dawn. The next day she was cranky all day and rubbing her eyes but wouldn't sleep. She finally had a nap mid-afternoon but still seemed out of sorts. Maybe there's too much going on in her mind. She's trying to take it all in. She's on the verge of one of the biggest steps of her life -- her first actual steps on her own. Right now she has me and my aching back to hold her but I can tell she wants to move on her own.

She is developing an independent streak. She gets frustrated when she wants to do something and can't. She tries to do things herself. She loves sipping water from her sippy cup. She tries to do it herself but usually ends up pouring it all over herself. When I ask "Do you want some water?" she kicks her legs and shakes her fists and smiles from ear to ear. I've never seen anyone get so excited over water. You'd think she was in the desert. I guess just because it's different. She was relegated to warm milk for 6 months so I guess a nice cold glass of water is a welcome change. Though she doesn't seem to like variety when it comes to food. She hates just about everything now (even things like green beans which she used to like) except cereal, sweet potatoes and pears. I tried experimenting with different foods. Broccoli was her least favourite to date. I should have snapped a picture of the face she made. One day it even made her cry. Each new food I give her for 3 days to test for allergy. A lot of them I just won't bother to buy again because she won't eat them. At least she likes her cereal -- rice, oat and barley -- particularly oatmeal. I've made it a nightly routine for her and I to have our oatmeal (mine is Maple and Brown Sugar. Mmmm) before she settles down to bed. It usually works like a charm. My Mom thinks that cereal is comfort food and helps you sleep. I guess a full tummy helps. I'm thrilled that she likes Sweet Potatoes with Turkey so she's getting some protein. I've tried mixing chicken into regular sweet potatoes. She'll usually tolerate it. I just have to be careful not to put too much chicken in it. Pears remain her very favourite food. She likes apples and bananas too but she goes over the moon for pears. Peaches were a flop. I sampled a little and couldn't blame her. I love the actual fruit but for some reason the baby version was just sickening. Too sweet (and this is coming from someone who loves Coca Cola!) I was surprised she didn't like corn. It's always been one of my favourites. It doesn't have a lot of nutritional value so I probably won't get it again. I just thought if it was something she liked I could mix other things with it. God help me if she ever loses her taste for sweet potatoes! She did eat some of the beef with spaghetti but she wasn't in love with it. My Mom said she always thought those mixed baby foods wouldn't be nutritional enough. I said if I can get her to have a little bit of meat it's more than worth it.

She's developing a sense of humour as well. She keeps knocking my glasses off and laughing. She laughs her head off if I make a silly face or noise or voice. She understands more of what I say and reacts to it. The other day she passed gas and I asked her if she tooted. She found that hilarious. I would later learn that she found it so funny because she'd done more than tooted. She had pooped. Her poo now, since starting solid food, is UNGODLY. It stinks to high heaven. I can't believe something so foul can come out of an innocent little baby. No one warned me. I'd been accustomed to her breastmilk poo which was essentially odourless. For 6 months it was a non-issue. I had an open wastebasket for diapers in the nursery. Now since starting solid foods I had to put in a steel garbage can with a lid and it still smells.

Pretty soon I can start giving her finger foods. At eight months babies are allowed to nibble foods that will dissolve in their mouth -- like little pieces of bread, soft cheese, pasta, Cheerios. That will be exciting. I know that she'll love feeding herself. It will be a bit nerve-wracking too. I'm so scared of her choking on something. I will be so careful with just little bits at a time and will never give her anything dangerous (nuts, hard fruit etc). She still doesn't have any teeth or the beginnings of any. Hopefully teething won't make her fussier and keep her up at night when it happens. My Mom got me a little mesh thing that you can put fruit in so that they can suck on it and get the juice without eating the actual fruit. It will be interesting to see her taste a real pear. They're not quite as sweet as the baby version. Finger foods will definitely be an adventure. After seeing how excited she got over a glass of water, I'm guessing Cheerios will really blow her mind! She's constantly putting her toys in her mouth (and trying to put anything else she comes across in too but I stop her when she tries to chew books etc -- except the bath books) so it will be fascinating to her I'm sure that she can put things in her mouth that actually taste like something. I will try to get a video of her eating Cheerios for the first time.

When I see her holding onto the ottoman and I let go for a few seconds, it's scary to think that one day she will stand without holding onto anything, then she'll be taking her first wobbly steps alone. It's hard to let go. I remember when she was a newborn and I was so overwhelmed with her crying all the time and feeding almost constantly but part of me now looks back at that time and thinks "in a way it was easier." She was helpless. She needed me. She couldn't move around or do anything on her own. She couldn't get into trouble. And she didn't weigh so much to carry her. Yes although she does like to be independent sometimes, there are other times (usually when she's overtired/cranky) when she will not let me put her down and it KILLS my arms, wrists, back. Still I am excited about where she is now and where she's going. In some ways it's easier, in other ways it's harder but it's a rollercoaster and I'm enjoying the ride. 

Trial and Error

Michelle has little rubber blocks. Every time we play with them I stack them up into a tower and she knocks it down instantly. I stack them up and she knocks them all down. Over and over. It's kind of a metaphor for parenting her -- every time I think things are getting easier, each time I start to build up confidence as a Mom or start to feel in control and think "I've got this!" I get knocked down again, reminded I'm not in control and that I've still got a lot to learn. I can never say "I've got this." Every day I have to start from scratch. I never know what each day will bring.

It's hard for me because I like knowing what to expect, having my ducks in a row. Now I have rubber ducks around my kitchen sink and they're in a row (the kitchen counter is where I bathe her in her whale tub) but most other things in life are not so simple, especially with a baby. I admit I'm a bit of a control freak. I can't bear to fail. It came in handy while I was in school because my relentless pursuit of perfection is what pushed me to work so hard, to get straight As and win academic awards through high school and university. Unfortunately life isn't like school. Sometimes there are no definite answers. You can't study for life's tests. They come upon you unexpectedly.

Nothing could really prepare me for being a Mom. There is no manual (well there are a lot of books on the subject but they can't possibly cover every minute detail that may come up day to day when raising a child.) Ironically you need to takes tests and get a license to drive a car, but they let you leave the hospital with your baby without so much as a pop quiz. They let you walk out with a small human being and absolutely no idea what you're doing. It's scary. It is such an enormous responsibility and yet there is no way to prepare for it. You are just thrown into it and learn as you go through trial and error. It's the error part that I have a problem with. I can't bear to make a mistake, especially with my child who is more precious to me than anything including my own life. The stakes are so high. Unfortunately I do make mistakes. I felt horrible when I accidentally clipped Michelle's finger once while cutting her tiny nails (in my defense it is almost impossible to cut their tiny nails! Every parent I've spoken to has nicked their child accidentally at least once.) I thought that was traumatic enough but it was nothing compared to what I just went through with her recently. It was like a scene from The Exorcist.

Michelle has been on solid foods for a month now. It has been a challenge to say the least. There are foods that she doesn't like and she just won't eat. There are foods that she likes but sometimes she's cranky and won't even eat them. I had to get really creative sometimes to get her to eat -- with a series of distractions, songs, noises, games and other tactics. Then suddenly it was like a miracle, she was eating! Willingly. Effortlessly. Without songs, games or trickery. She was just eating because she WANTED TO! Victory! Hooray! She would gobble up every bit of her cereal without a fuss. She would try new foods and like them and actually eat them. When it came to fruit (apples and pears) she loved them and would even eat an entire jar! I thought, this is great! Considering that not too long ago my doctor was concerned that Michelle was underweight, to have her eating so well was a huge relief. She was sleeping better too, more content. Awesome. I thought, maybe we've turned a corner. I've got this all figured out now, Woo hoo! Yeah, not so much.

When it came to feeding, as in everything else, I let Michelle call the shots. She could eat as little or as much as she wanted. I remember when I was a kid my Mom used to force us to eat everything on our plate, even if we were full. She'd lecture us about there being starving kids in the world. "Then send it to them!" I would argue. We weren't even allowed to leave the table until it was gone. So we'd sit there, hours later crying, trapped in purgatory with a dinner that was even more unbearable now because it was cold. Sometimes she'd leave the room and then I'd throw it in the garbage without her seeing. I will never do that with Michelle. I will never force her to eat if she's not hungry. When she refused to eat, I didn't push. I threw it out. If she wanted to eat, I was relieved. If she kept wanting more, I didn't deny her. I was just so happy that she was eating. I had all sorts of literature on WHAT to feed. I knew that at 6 months old their iron levels drop so they need iron fortified cereal, need sources of protein and of course need vegetables and fruits. What I didn't know, what no one seems to tell you, is HOW MUCH to feed a six to seven month old baby. When I looked it up the answer was anywhere from a teaspoon to a jar because every baby is different. There is no set answer.

Where breastfeeding is concerned, I was told that you can't overfeed a baby. It's self-regulating. The baby instinctively knows how much she needs and your breasts magically know how much to produce and it works out perfectly. Sometimes Michelle only nursed for five minutes. Other times it was almost an hour. I couldn't tell how much milk she was getting at any given time. It's not like giving a bottle where you can measure. I trusted Michelle to know how much she needed. It's a little different when it comes to solid food though. Your baby doesn't know when she's full. Clearly. I learned this the hard way. The worst way of all. My Mom used to have a saying "Your eyes are bigger than your belly!" Michelle's eyes were DEFINITELY bigger than her belly and stupid me I just kept giving her spoon after spoon when she asked for it. She was having meat, vegetables and fruit. What can be wrong with that? Well, you CAN get too much of a good thing.

It started out as a great day. Michelle had slept pretty well, was in good spirits. She ate her cereal at breakfast and even seemed to want more so I gave her an extra teaspoon (on top of the two tablespoons she usually has). At lunch I was giving her baby turkey with sweet potato for the first time. And she liked it! She actually ate it without me having to trick her into taking a spoonful or hiding it with anything else. A meat that she liked?! I was THRILLED. She even seemed to want more. At dinner she had meat, vegetables and fruit. A whole meal. She kept wanting more and more of the fruit. I was just so happy that she was eating that I kept adding another teaspoon and another to the bowl to give her. Before I knew it, she'd had the whole jar. Wow! She was hungry.

That night when I nursed her I was surprised that she was still drinking just as much milk as ever even after her big meal. I didn't think she'd need to breastfeed much with her belly full of food. She was drowsy and I think sometimes uses me as a soother to comfort her to sleep. She was almost asleep when all of a sudden she started to throw up. I picked her up and she threw up again, all over us both. I was in shock. She was scared and upset and I tried to calm her down but I was pretty shaken (and shaking) myself. For a moment I stood and looked at us in the hallway mirror. I didn't know where to start. I managed to get us both changed and tear the sheets off the bed and throw them in a pile in the hallway. I thought it was over but it was only beginning. She vomited again and this time it was worse. Projectile. Like something out of a horror movie. All over my fresh t-shirt. She was screaming, I was almost in tears myself. I changed our clothes yet again as quickly as possible and put the clothes in the sink to soak. I thought it had to be over now. She couldn't possibly have anything left. She had thrown up everything she consumed that day. But then it happened again. I finally thought there's no point dressing her until I'm sure she's done so I just wrapped her in a towel in my arms. She was exhausted now and starting to fall asleep. There was no way I was putting her down. If she threw up while lying down she could choke. I would hold her for 24 hours if I had to. I was terrified.

I called my sister for advice. My sister thought it could be a viral infection. I had taken Michelle to the public playtime that week. Could she have caught something from one of the babies? My sister suggested I take the baby's temperature to rule out a fever. Her temperature was low not high. I dressed her in a warm sleeper. Even if she was going to puke on it again I didn't want her to be cold. Was it a virus? Or could it be an allergy? Was she allergic to turkey? I had been introducing each new food and trying it for three days, as you're supposed to to test for allergy. That's all well and good but I never stopped to think what might happen if she actually WAS allergic? Vomiting could be a symptom. Or was it, most likely, that she had just eaten too much because, idiot that I am, I let her? I told my sister that Michelle had eaten a whole jar of pears. My sister thought a jar would probably be too much for a baby her size. But she had eaten a whole package (like a big tube, bigger than a jar) of sweet potatoes at my Mom's place and was fine. I figured if she was still hungry I wasn't going to deny her but the problem is that she loved the pears so much it was like a dessert. I know that even myself, if there's a food I really love, something really delicious, I can eat it even when I'm full and just stuff myself and feel awful afterward. I should know better but sometimes you just give in to temptation. She's a baby and doesn't know any better so when she tastes something delicious she just wants more and more. I should have limited it to a tablespoon or two at the most. I guess her tummy was so full that when she had milk later there was no room for it and everything came out. I felt horrible. I didn't know any better. I sure do now.

The worst part was that now I was afraid for her safety. She kept throwing up. Even when I thought there was nothing left, clear liquid would come out. She wasn't herself. She looked pale (well, I mean she IS a redhead and has never been in the sun so she is always pale but this was different somehow. She was alabaster. And it looked like there were dark circles around her eyes.) My sister said to make sure she's hydrated. I gave her some water and she threw it up too. My sister had never experienced any of her kids throwing up that much and suggested I call Mom to see if she had any advice or experience in the matter. She did. When I called my Mom she said that yes she'd certainly seen her share of kids throwing up. I was the worst but it was when I got the flu as a baby. I was throwing up for a week and actually had to be hospitalized because I was a skeleton baby, way underweight and dehydrated. Though I would have been too young to remember it perhaps on some level the experience stayed with me because for my entire life I had a phobia of vomiting. I remember having the flu as a kid (12 at the oldest) and dreading that awful feeling -- retching, leaning over the toilet, crying. It hurt my chest, my throat. Every time it felt like I was going to choke or die. I always felt better when it was over but during each bout of nausea it was unbearable. To this day I can't drink ginger ale because it reminds me of being sick (for some reason Mom always gave us ginger ale when we were sick.) As an adult the only time I ever threw up was once in my 20s when I got drunk. I don't drink alcohol and only got drunk once (it was by accident. I'm not a drinker. I actually hate the taste of alcohol. The only drinks I could tolerate were sweet drinks where you don't taste the alcohol. I was at a party and someone kept handing me "brown cows." I was drinking them like they were chocolate milk. Clearly Kahlua is NOT chocolate milk.) After the terrible hangover the next day (the entire world was tilting to the left, I had a headache that felt like my skull would explode and I had a nasty bout of nausea, puking my guts out in the toilet) I swore I would NEVER drink again and I didn't. Through the years there were a few times when I almost felt like I was going to throw up but I managed to ward it off by chewing gum and thinking happy thoughts. Fast forward to last year while I was pregnant. The morning sickness in the first trimester was brutal. Throwing up is awful enough but the worst part was the anxiety that it might happen at work. I hadn't told anyone I was pregnant yet. I was waiting until the second trimester. Anyway, I'm getting off topic here. The point is vomiting has always been very traumatic for me and seeing my baby throw up was far worse. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life.

The most frightening part was that even after the vomiting stopped, Michelle didn't seem like herself. She's usually bursting with energy, kicking her little legs, smiling and making noises. She was lethargic. Almost zombie-like. Staring with a blank look. She didn't even have the energy to cry. I'd never seen her like that. She was almost falling asleep. Her eyes were glazed over. Was she just tired or was something wrong? I didn't know what to do. Should I call 9-1-1? (The weather had been bad and I didn't think I could even drive to the hospital with the snow so deep.) I was panicked. Was I overreacting? Ironically my Mom, who is usually the biggest worrier on the planet, managed to calm me down. I was so freaked out that I was blowing everything out of proportion. Michelle was almost asleep before any of the nausea happened so she would definitely be exhausted after that. My Mom suggested I just let Michelle rest in my arms and when she woke up if she wasn't better I could think about getting her checked out.

"Are you OK Michelle?" I asked after she was awake and I was changing her. She still looked a little out of it. Then suddenly she smiled at me and I felt a huge wave of relief. She's back! She's OK. She started kicking her little legs. She was back to normal. I was afraid to feed her again but I figured she needed her nutrients since she'd lost everything she'd eaten. My Mom said not to give her anymore food that night (usually she has some cereal in the evening) but just to breastfeed her later, at 10 p.m. and see how that goes. She also said to make sure Michelle has water right away though so she doesn't get dehydrated. Michelle couldn't seem to manage from the sippy cup so I filled one of the liners for her playtex nurser and gave her the bottle. She guzzled the entire thing. I was scared when her diaper was empty. It was the first time I'd ever checked her diaper and found nothing. It had all gone out the other end instead. The next day I was relieved to change a soaked diaper and a poopy one. I never thought I'd be so happy to see a soiled diaper!

Michelle nursed at 10 p.m. and went off to sleep happily. I was so grateful and relieved that she was OK. She slept well through the night. I guess the ordeal had taken so much out of her that she was exhausted. The next day she was in good spirits. It was like the incident never happened. I would never forget it though. And I had about 3 loads of laundry to remind me. I decided to be extra careful about feeding her and never give her too much. No matter how much she begs. She ate her cereal and dinner well and was fine. So I ruled out allergy or virus and realized yes she had just overeaten. I remembered the Monty Python skit where the man in the restaurant eats an insane amount of food and then the waiter suggests one more bite "It's only wafer thin" and that's the straw that broke the camel's back and he unleashes a torrent of regurgitated food.

Now I know to limit Michelle to no more than a couple of tablespoons of food at a time. She has since tried bananas and loved them. She was whining and reaching for more but I wouldn't let her. It's bizarre that I went from worrying about her not eating and not weighing enough to worrying that she'll eat too much and make herself sick. It's a delicate balance trying to get it right.

I felt so guilty, so stupid, so angry with myself about it. My Mom said that it was just a lesson, as there will be many lessons in parenting and I know better now. Just a month ago I was at my Mom's place having brunch and she had told me "You're doing all the right things." I think it was the first time in my life that she'd said that so my curiosity was definitely piqued. Apparently she'd read a doctor's advice column in the paper and they were saying how important breastfeeding is and how many benefits there are to it, healthwise and as a bonding experience with your baby. They also said that rather than let a baby "cry it out" that you should comfort your baby when she's crying. A baby who feels loved and secure, whose needs are always met will become an adult who is happier, more confident and empathetic toward others. Before reading the article my Mom was trying to say that it wouldn't hurt to let the baby cry. Mom told me that she was proud of what a good Mom I was, how devoted I was. It was good to hear. I wanted to do all the right things. I was trying so hard. Now I'm beating myself up that I did something wrong. Sometimes giving a baby what she wants isn't the answer. You have to set boundaries and limits. Solid food isn't like breastfeeding. I can't trust her to know when she's full. Lesson learned.

When it comes to introducing solids it's so confusing -- if you ask 10 people about it you get 10 completely different answers. Some say don't wait until 6 months. Some say a baby's digestive system can't handle food until six months (this seems to be the guideline from a medical standpoint and is what I followed.) Some say start with cereal, fruits and veggies. Others say that protein is important because of their iron deficiency (I was trying to follow that because of the latest medical research.) Nowhere in my literature did it say how much to feed them. Nowhere did it warn that if your baby loves a food they will eat it non-stop until they explode, if you let them. I suppose it should have been common sense but I don't know how big her stomach is and how much it can hold. One thing is for sure: I'm far more careful now!

I am so grateful to my Mom and my sister for being there for me to offer support, advice, and help when I'm at the end of my rope. They have been a lifeline for me. Times when I feel so helpless and scared and don't know what to do they talk me through it and help me figure it out. I couldn't go through this without them. As they say "it takes a village to raise a child." Michelle and I are alone but it's good to know that May and my Mom are there to reach out to when we need help. The next day my sister called to see how Michelle and I were doing. I was happy to tell her that we were both doing great.

Just out of curiosity I searched for "baby throwing up at seven months" on the internet and found a whole score of entries. As I read through several of them I started to realize how lucky I have been. Some babies throw up ALL THE TIME! This was Michelle's first (and hopefully last!) bout of vomiting. I met someone who was feeding her baby formula and she threw up a lot. I guess it happens less with breastfeeding. Some mothers said their babies threw up everything and couldn't keep any food down, not even rice cereal, so I am very grateful that Michelle has been able to eat everything and doesn't appear to have any allergies so far. So it could have been a lot worse. At the time it felt like the end of the world. I was petrified. I felt so helpless. I overreacted. I'm glad I didn't call for an ambulance at least in my panic.

A few people had told me before I even had Michelle that NOTHING is worse than when your baby is sick. It is the most stressful thing to go through. You feel helpless. You wish it were you. When Michelle had a cold months ago I thought that was bad enough. Seeing her throw up was far worse. My Mom told me it's just part of being a parent. Not only worrying about kids getting sick, you have to worry about them getting hurt. My Mom said all of us had a trip to the hospital for stitches or broken bones at some point. It happens. I can't even imagine it. I love Michelle so much that it's unbearable to think of anything happening to her.

I wish I was one of those laidback, relaxed people who don't get flustered by anything and just let things roll off their backs. Nothing is as bad as it seems at the time. Somehow you get through it. I'm trying to cut myself some slack. I had the best intentions. I'm not perfect. This is all new to me and I'm learning as I go. I will make mistakes. I'm human. I try to do all the right things but sometimes I just stress myself out and that doesn't help. Sometimes maybe the right thing is just to lighten up a little. Michelle doesn't need me to be perfect she just needs me to be her Mom, to do my best and to love her with all my heart. That I can definitely do.

Bait and Switch

I tricked my baby. Fooled. Swindled. Hoodwinked. Bamboozled. I'm not proud of it but desperate times call for desperate measures. When it comes to feeding time, I'll do whatever it takes to get some nutrients into her. Even if it means being sneaky and underhanded. Parenting rule #1 -- you do what you gotta do.

I knew that she was going to love fruit, it is after all Nature's candy, so I was trying to save it for last. I finally gave her apple sauce, which as expected she ate well. Her favourite food so far though is baby pears. She absolutely LOVES them. She gobbled them up. She even ate a whole jar. Who could blame her? I tasted them myself (just by licking the tablespoon before throwing it in the sink) and it was DELICIOUS! I may have to start getting it as a dessert for myself.

Thankfully there are some vegetables that she likes (not LOVES but at least tolerates) -- sweet potatoes, green beans and peas. Unfortunately, she hates meat. The chicken and broth was a flop. The beef and broth made her gag and cry. I tried getting those mixed chicken with rice dinner things and she wasn't having it. I tried mixing meats in with other vegetables that she likes and she screws up her face. No matter how small an amount of meat I mix in, she can taste it and is not impressed. When a child is older you can try to reason with them "It's good for you. If you eat your veggies then you can have dessert!" At this age, you're S.O.L. If she doesn't like it, it is not going in her mouth. Her lips are locked shut unless of course she starts wailing (which happens as well) but you can't really shovel food into a screaming mouth (well you can, but it's cruel and I don't want mealtime to feel like a punishment.)

You would not believe the lengths I go to to get her to eat. Some days it's really a challenge. For a while she seemed to be enjoying eggs which was a relief because at least I was getting some protein into her. But then I guess she got sick of them because the last time I tried giving her an egg yolk for lunch she barely touched it. Sometimes she just doesn't seem interested in eating anything. I sing (anything from nursery rhymes and lullabies to showtunes. Bohemian Rhapsody. Whatever it takes. One day I did about a 10 minute rendition of "menamena doo doo ba doo doo.") When I feed her sweet potatoes I say "One potato two potato three potato four..." When I TRY to feed her chicken I do the chicken dance. Anyone who saw me would assume I'd lost my mind.

Getting her to eat meat without gagging or crying has been the hardest thing so far but I found a sneaky way to get her to eat it. I alternate spoonfuls of the things she loves with the things she hates. The old "Bait and Switch." I give her a tiny taste of fruit (apple or pear) on one spoon so that she opens her mouth wide for the next spoon only to find, to her horror, that it's a heaping spoonful of chicken. Dang. She screws up her face and looks at me as though I'm Judas and have clearly betrayed her. To make it up to her and take the taste away I follow it with a spoon of her delicious pears. I do feel kind of bad for fooling her but I got her to eat two tablespoons of chicken that way so I figure the end justifies the means. Besides it might be a good lesson for her to learn early in life -- you have to take the good with the bad and you never know what the next day (or the next spoon) will bring. If only everything in life were as sweet as baby pears.


Michelle seemed to have a sugar rush after all her baby pears. I even got a video of her eating them:

 

 

Feeding is a challenge most days. I just try to entertain and distract her long enough to get through the meats and veggies. My sister warned me it probably won't get easier as she gets older. Kids can be very fussy. My sister said that a lot of the foods she loves she doesn't even get to make anymore because the kids won't eat them so there's no point. You have to accommodate them. Sometimes you're just happy if they'll eat anything. I hope Michelle won't be a terribly picky eater. I just never know from one day to the next how she'll be. She surprised me at my Mom's place and ate an entire tube of sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes were one vegetable she didn't mind but she'd never had more than a tablespoon of it without starting to complain. Then all of a sudden she was devouring them. Maybe she has hit a growth spurt and needs the extra calories. Or maybe she was just happy to be with her Grandma. Grandma's lap was the high chair while I fed her there.

 

So far she's had rice and oatmeal cereal which she usually eats pretty well. She even wanted an extra tablespoon last time. She liked the rice at first but then seemed to get sick of it so I started her on oatmeal. Now I mix them together, a tablespoon of each, which she seems to enjoy. I give it to her at night (and I even have a bowl of my own oatmeal so she feels like we're eating the same thing. That makes her happy. She's always curious about my food and seems jealous when I have pasta or pizza.) She doesn't mind sweet potatoes, green beans and peas. She detests carrots (can't say that I blame her) and abhors chicken and beef (they are gross in pureed form I must say.) She loves applesauce and ADORES the baby pears. There are still several foods to try her on. I have to wait three days each time to test for allergies. I'm anxious to try the rest of the fruits because I'm pretty sure they'll go well. I managed to find baby turkey mixed with vegetables but I'm nervous about trying it because the chicken mixed dish was an epic fail. At least I can always resort to the "bait and switch" approach but I'd rather she actually enjoyed the foods and ate them willingly rather than tricking her into swallowing them.

 
Like eating, sleeping is kind of hit and miss. I never know from one day to the next how it's going to go. Some days she has a bit of a nap in the day. Other days she doesn't and is super cranky. Some nights she'll fall asleep at a decent hour, other nights she's up until the wee hours. The worst is when she really seems zonked and falls asleep early and I think "Yes! She's down for the night! Woo hoo!" I run around and get things done and then try to head to bed at midnight or 1 a.m. only to find that she's WIDE AWAKE as though it's morning and won't settle down so I get no sleep at all. Sleep deprivation can be unbearable. A couple of times I was so tired I could barely move, felt weak and lightheaded and so overwhelmed that I burst into tears. The problem is that when she sleeps you never know how long it's going to be so it's really hard to do anything. Sometimes you think you've got an hour and you only get five minutes. I used to take daily showers (I miss those!) but now I'm lucky if it's once or twice a week. When I do take one I rush through it in about 2 minutes or less because I keep thinking I hear her crying, even if she isn't. I remember having a couple of bubble baths when she was younger. It's been a while since I've risked that. I LOVE baths though. I keep waiting for the magical night that she sleeps through the night. There were a couple of nights that she did sleep well but she still woke up every two hours to nurse and then go back to sleep. I don't mind breastfeeding her through the night. I just wonder if/when she'll ever reach a point where she won't need that.

I am grateful that at least there are things that she will eat, that she's adapting to me breastfeeding her a little less, that she's a healthy weight now and doing well overall. She's almost seven months old now. Pretty soon she'll be able to have Cheerios, bits of fruit, bread and cheese. In just a couple of months so much will change. It still blows my mind how much and how fast they grow at this stage. So when I'm having a rough time feeding her or a tough night where she won't sleep, I try not to let it get to me too much. I know that the day will come when I'll look back at this time and think how wonderful it was and how much I miss her being so small. So I'm enjoying it while it lasts. It goes by so fast. I'm taking lots of pictures and videos to hold on to these moments forever. The past six months have flown by. I know that the next six will too.

Tastes like chicken...

I thought trying to get Michelle to SLEEP was a challenge. Then I embarked on the uphill battle of trying to get her to EAT. The rice cereal was a hit. I am grateful for that at least. I even videotaped her very first spoonful and posted it to Youtube (I posted a link in my previous post, "Solid food!") She did make a bit of a face. It was a shock to her after all, having something other than my milk for the first time but she ate it. Subsequent feedings haven't always gone so smoothly however. Though she likes the rice cereal, I sometimes even have a hard time getting her to eat it. If I feed her when she's not very hungry, she's not interested. If I wait until she is hungry (she breastfeeds every two hours so I try to wait until her next expected feeding session to give her the cereal in the morning and the evening and then follow it with milk) then she is cranky and goes ballistic. She still manages to get through the bowl one teeny spoonful at a time but sometimes it's a slow excruciating experience filled with tears and screams. Other times thankfully she gobbles it up with no fuss at all. You just never know from one day to the next what she'll do. I thought she'd get a kick out of holding the bowl and spoon herself and she did. She is a budding control freak already. She would love to do everything herself if she could.

It's tough when you try to do all the right things and you can't be sure what the right thing is. When it comes to starting solids it seems everyone has an opinion and they're all different. Some people said they started feeding their babies as early as 2-3 months! Others at 4-5. The What to Expect the First Year book says to start between 4 and 6 months. My doctor, the early years centre and Ontario's Nutrition Resource Centre all said not to start solids until 6 months. They said that the baby's body is not able to properly digest solids before then and that you can cause lifelong problems for them by starting too early. So that's what I went by. As far as what foods to start them on first, there is also a great deal of debate. Some say vegetables and fruit first and meat last. The Early Years Centre and literature from Nutrition Canada said that because a baby's iron level drops significantly at 6 months that they need a lot of iron and protein so you have to feed rice cereal fortified with iron and start the baby on meats like chicken and beef. So that's what I did. Also, to rule out allergies you have to introduce foods one at a time. So plain chicken with nothing else added. I stocked up on chicken with broth and plain beef so I'd be ready.

What the nutrition experts fail to warn you is that pureed chicken on its own is completely disgusting and there's about a snowball's chance in Hell of your baby eating it! I know how bad it is because I tasted it myself on my knuckle when I tested the temperature. It tasted like chicken but such a bland, awful version of chicken and with such a gross texture that I couldn't blame Michelle for complaining. She screwed up her face, gagged, turned away and cried. I was told that you can't keep the jars more than a few days once they're opened and she'd barely touched it. I didn't want to waste it so I tried to give it to the cat. Even Ali wouldn't eat it! You know a food is bad when your PET turns up her nose at it. I now see why the jars are so small. They actually need to be even smaller. No baby would eat that much chicken on its own in three days. I also understand why most of the baby chicken jars had chicken mixed with other things. Maybe they are a little more palatable. You can't give those as first foods though because you have to experiment with each food on its own separately. Once she's cleared on vegetables I can try those mixed baby dishes.

After I'd ruled out the possibility of allergy for chicken, I thought I'd try carrots. It was my Mom's suggestion. Maybe the carrots would be more appealing because they're a bit sweeter. My Mom thought if I mixed the carrots with the chicken, she might like it better. Not so much. She hated carrots about as much as she loathed chicken. The mixture seemed to make it even worse. She screamed. She would not eat it. Two negatives may make a positive but not when it comes to food. Stirring up two gross foods doesn't make them magically yummy. I decided to try a new tactic the next time I fed her. I'd give her a tiny spoon of chicken. She'd screw up her face but at least ingest a bit of it. Then I'd alternate with a spoon of carrot. She'd make another face but seemed relieved it wasn't chicken at least. I kept alternating so that she got a little of both. It kept her guessing what each spoon would be. It seemed to work. She grudgingly had the carrot thinking at least it's not chicken and took in a little chicken figuring at least it's a break from the carrot. Though a lot ended up on her chin, bib, sleeve and the tray, I know she swallowed some of it because her poo changed. It was a little orange and had some more texture to it (I never thought in a million years I'd be describing feces in a blog but life changes when you're a Mom!) Her poop definitely smells a lot worse now that she's having solid foods. It barely had a smell when she was only having breastmilk. I was using a lidless waste basket by the change table. With her new poo I could no longer leave the garbage uncovered so my Mom gave me a big tall aluminum can with a flip lid to use (one good thing about my Mom having so much stuff is that when you need something chances are she's got one! These days the less things I have to buy the better!)

Gradually I will try her on all different types of vegetables and finally fruits. Some say not to give fruit first or it spoils them for everything else because it's so much sweeter. I know that I love baby apricots. I even eat it myself sometimes. Others say it doesn't matter if you give fruit first. I'm not taking any chances. I want to make sure I get some vegetables and protein into her as soon as possible. Fruit is almost like a dessert. I'm hoping there will be foods she'll love so that I can hide other foods she doesn't like in them. I stocked up on jars of baby chicken. Maybe I can return/exchange them...

I went to pick up some more baby foods and a woman in the aisle suggested sweet potatoes as they were her daughter's favourite. Her little girl loved to eat though. I couldn't believe it when the woman said her girl was only 7 months. She looked like a toddler sitting in the basket portion of the shopping cart. She was big, wearing shoes, had a full head of hair. Michelle at 6 months in her carseat looked like a newborn next to the girl. I suppose it's all relative. Michelle is wearing 9 and 12 month old clothes but at the same time is very petite. My doctor was concerned she hadn't gained enough weight and wants to see her again in a few weeks to check her progress. I'm determined to get her weight up somehow. It's certainly not easy when she barely eats the foods. At least she's still breastfeeding just as much. She's so active she burns off everything she's taking in. I can't believe how much energy she has. It's exhausting! At least she has her cereal morning and evening but even that doesn't seem to slow down her nursing. I'm still nursing her every 2 hours. I told the doctor how active Michelle is but the doctor didn't seem to take that into account. It has to make a difference. I mean if I was doing jumping jacks 24-7 it stands to reason that I'd weigh a lot less than someone who sat around doing nothing and consumed the same or less calories.

People have suggested making my own baby food. I thought about it but there are two major obstacles in that department. One is that I don't even have a blender (I did but someone broke it and I never got a replacement.) The other is that I don't have a lot of time for cooking as it is. Trying to make baby food for her would be one more thing to stress about. She doesn't give me enough time to do anything as it is. Besides it sounds like after a couple of months they're supposed to start having bits of our food and finger foods mashed up as it is so I'm not going to go to the trouble and expense of buying equipment to make baby food that will only be consumed for one or two months. I'll make do mashing things by hand.

I was so relieved when I spoke to a woman at the Early Years Centre and she said that most of the nutrients Michelle needs at this stage, she's getting from my milk. Feeding solids at six months is more about introducing the baby to tastes and textures than it is about nutrition. It isn't until the 10 month point that most of her nutrition will come from food instead of my milk. So I've got some time to get her used to foods before then. I told her that Michelle is at least eating the rice cereal twice a day so she's getting her iron from that. The woman also suggested I try other sources of protein like eggs. I thought you could only give egg yolks at this point in case they're allergic to egg whites. She shook her head and said no that the latest findings show that you can give whole eggs. She said unless the parents have food allergies, baby should be OK with anything I'm eating. She gave me the number for Eat Right Ontario so I can talk to a Registered Dietitian for free anytime I have questions. She told me to try each new food for three days and then once they're cleared I can keep adding more to her repertoire. Someone else told me that a baby needs to eat a food about 15 times before they really get used to it or develop a taste for it. One Mom is a vegetarian so she's been giving her baby alternate sources of protein. It's good to know that's an option too if Michelle wouldn't eat meat. I'm going to keep trying though. I felt a lot less stressed after getting some feedback on the subject.

Since the carrots were a flop I figured I'd try other veggies and then take the plunge into beef. Now Michelle has been having peas for the past couple of days. Though she doesn't exactly love them, she doesn't hate them as much as chicken and carrots. At least she opens her mouth for the next spoonful. I figure if I find things she likes I can try to sneak a little meat into it. I hope to find many healthy foods that Michelle will love on this culinary adventure. She looks longingly at what I'm having and seems fascinated when she hears me crunching something. She doesn't understand that she needs teeth first. Teething. Sigh. That will be a whole new adventure...

Sleepless at Six Months

"She looks pretty new." A friendly older woman said about Michelle as she lay sleeping in the cart like a little angel. Yeah still has that new baby smell!
"Six months," I replied.
"She's beautiful. These must be the best days of your life." She said and smiled sweetly.
"Yes. And the hardest," I answered.

It was the first time I'd been out in quite a while. If you've been following my blog then you know that between the weather, the lack of funds and the fear of Michelle having a Stage Three Meltdown in public, I have been avoiding going out as much as possible. Even to the point where I started ordering my groceries online. Her six month check-up and needles were coming up though so I knew I'd have to go out for that. Even though they were calling for snow and freezing rain. Super. I was nervous about the excursion and decided to have a trial run the day before. I needed to pick up a few things anyway that I couldn't get online. My car was covered in snow. I wasn't even sure if it would start. Luckily it did. The whole day went far better than I'd anticipated. Michelle was good as gold in the grocery store and actually fell asleep. She was solid even when I left the store and put her in the car so I decided to be especially daring and go to Sears after. I can't afford to shop anymore unless it's free so I went to Sears to redeem my Club points. I had enough for a $30 gift card. I got a couple of outfits for Michelle on sale for $9.99. Miracle of miracles, she even slept in Sears and when she did awaken she was mellow and didn't fuss. This was almost too good to be true. I couldn't resist going for McD's across the street. It had been a long time since I'd had a Big Mac and I wanted to celebrate my great day. She even remained quiet as I rolled through the drive-thru. I thanked Michelle for being such a good girl. This was awesome. What a perfect day. Maybe things really were getting easier. Not quite. Unfortunately later that night she put me through sheer Hell.

Life with Michelle is definitely a rollercoaster from the highest of highs to the lowest of the lows. Lately it's been tougher than ever. The kid just doesn't sleep. I mean I was always a night owl but she can stay up later than me. For several nights she was up until 4 a.m. It was unbearable. I was so exhausted I nearly collapsed trying to carry her. I started having back problems and thought I was going to have to go to the hospital one night when I twisted my back lifting her. When I started her on solid food she seemed to sleep a little better (at least settling down at midnight or 1 a.m. instead of 4 a.m. was a big improvement) but it didn't last. She was back to her old tricks again. I cut out caffeine. I tried eating more bland food (no more tacos). It didn't seem to matter what I did. She just wouldn't sleep. She'd cry. I'd feed her, walk the floor singing lullabies for hours and she wouldn't sleep. Or she'd fall asleep for a few minutes and wake up crying again. Or she was just wide awake and wanting to play and I was too exhausted to function.

I read that some babies that are very alert and sensitive have a hard time settling down because they're so overstimulated, their minds don't stop going. She is hyper. I don't know about her mind but her arms and legs never stop going. She's a ball of energy 24-7. Even when she starts to get sleepy (she's rubbing her eyes, her eyes look drowsy, her head is bobbing) she fights it. It's like she doesn't want to sleep. She doesn't want to miss a thing. It is very difficult for me because it means I get no break. For a while there I was trying to do Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred. I was feeling better and stronger. Though the workout was difficult I forced myself to do it because I want to get back in shape. Unfortunately Michelle put an end to it. She started waking up sooner and sooner until I couldn't even do 5 minutes of the workout. She couldn't give me even a few minutes to myself. Someone suggested to me that maybe my working out was actually affecting her somehow but it doesn't seem like that was it because even since I stopped exercising her staying up into the wee hours continued.

Some days it feels like I'm going to break. I spend all of my time and energy caring for her and don't have a minute to take care of myself. I don't get to shower. I don't get even a few minutes peace. Sometimes it's overwhelming and when I'm sleep deprived and in pain, it's sheer torture. I know she doesn't mean to do it but sometimes it feels like she's trying to drive me mad!

Then all of a sudden she'll be an angel and I'll think how lucky I am. She has started reaching up her hands to touch my face so gently sometimes and look into my eyes and really try to talk and it's the most adorable thing I've ever seen. She has also started patting her own head with her hands, cupping her hands together and waving her hands around. She hums and sings and chatters and squeals with delight. I love playing with her in the day and seeing how excited she gets. I love how she hugs me now. I love her smile and her giggles. Most of the time she is a joy, the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. But sometimes she's a monster -- when she screams and won't settle down and won't sleep and won't let me do anything. Some people say "Just let her scream." I can't do it. The most I've ever left her in her crib to cry is a couple of minutes. They say that she would stop crying eventually and go to sleep but I don't believe it for a second. This kid is stubborn. I bet she could go for hours. Days even.

At least she survived her six month doctor appointment and needle. She screamed at the needle of course. She smiled at the nurse at first but wasn't a fan after getting a needle stuck in her leg. I managed to soothe her with the bottle of breast milk I'd brought. I was upset when the doctor said that she weighed less than expected. Her weight isn't increasing at the same rate as her height. I had weighed her at home (weighing myself with and without her but apparently that's highly inaccurate) and thought she was over 15 lbs, closer to 16 lbs by now. At the doctor's office she wasn't even 15 lbs. I couldn't believe it. She breastfeeds every two hours or less and now she's even having cereal for breakfast and dinner on top of that and she's underweight?! Mind you, she probably burns off every calorie she's taking in because she's NEVER STILL. She jumps if you try to hold her on your lap, jumps in her Jumperoo and Jolly Jumper, rolls over and over on the floor during tummy time, kicks her legs and moves her arms constantly (even while she's nursing). She is so hyper she's doing aerobics 24-7. And if she's anything like her father (and she often seems to be) he ate non-stop and was still rail thin. It's tough though when I feel like I give her everything I have and it's still not enough. I started to worry if it was my fault (I have problems with "Mom Guilt" -- it's like Catholic guilt only worse. I try to do all the right things for her and beat myself up over it if I feel like I've done anything wrong.) What if my working out affected my milk? What if watching my diet and trying to consume less fat is leaving less fat in the milk for her? I know that "Thin is In" when it comes to adulthood but among the baby set it seems "Fat is where it's at" -- everyone thinks that a chubby little cherub baby is the picture of health. My mother, who is a chronic worrier herself actually told me it's no cause for concern. I was an underweight baby and apparently her doctor at the time told her that the plump roly poly babies you see are the unhealthy ones and that I, little toothpick in a sleeper that I was, was actually healthier. I've seen some really huge babies. I know that that isn't healthy. I guess some babies just sit around like Jabba the Hut and barely move. It may also be that the mothers load them up with a high fat diet or they may just have a different metabolism. With childhood obesity at an all time high I should probably be grateful to have a child who's a lean mean kicking machine, who can eat as much as she wants without gaining an ounce. But I worry. And the doctor made me feel like something was wrong. The weird thing is my Mom had commented how Michelle looked heavier than the last time she'd seen her. She certainly feels heavier to me! She's gone up a diaper size and she's wearing size 9 month-12 month clothes. Maybe the doctor's scale was off. I just have to stop worrying. She's not like other babies in any other way so why should her weight be different? My Mom pointed out that with two slim parents (well, Mike was skinny and I used to be, back in the day) it stands to reason that Michelle would be slender too.

While waiting in the doctor's office a woman sitting nearby remarked on Michelle's red hair and blue eyes. "She's gorgeous." She also told me that the hyperactivity, moodiness, lack of sleep and everything that I'm going through with Michelle is common for redheads.
"I had one too and she's 13 years old now. They're very high maintenance but the trade-off is they're very bright."
Michelle was quite happy in the waiting room. She was looking around at everyone and squealing in delight, jumping on my knee. Anyone who saw her would think what a happy baby, they'd never guess the hell she puts me through in the evenings.


After the appointment we went back to my sister's place. It was a nice visit until dinnertime. Then all Hell broke loose.

I naively thought I could try giving Michelle chicken for dinner. She'd been on the rice cereal for a week and the literature I had from Nutrition Canada or whatever it was said to introduce meat next because at six months babies really need their protein and iron. The doctor seemed to agree. The rice cereal had gone over so well that I thought I could just give Michelle chicken no problem. It didn't go well.

I shouldn't have tried at dinnertime because that is often her crankiest time. It's the point in the day where if she hasn't had a proper afternoon nap (and she hadn't), she's REALLY unhappy. The next mistake was thinking I could strap her into my sister's high chair. My poor sister dragged the thing upstairs for nothing because Michelle went ballistic and wouldn't even sit in it. The high chair I have has a plastic thing to hold the baby in easy so I can just slide her in. As soon as you start messing with straps and things she shrieks and flails. So I sat her on my lap and tried to give her a spoonful of chicken. She was not impressed. She was already mad and that was the last straw. Frankly I couldn't blame her. I tasted a speck of the stuff on my knuckle when I tested the temperature. It was pretty awful. It tasted like chicken but the texture was just gross. Sometimes texture is everything. I mean I like chicken but not as a pudding. I love pizza but probably wouldn't enjoy it as a smoothie. Some foods just don't lend themselves to softening. Meat is right up there. So I gave up and decided to try it the next day for lunch, when she was rested, hungry and in a good mood. At least she did consume a little. Close to a teaspoon. She was decidedly unimpressed. The following day she barely had a quarter of a teaspoon and started to cry. You know a food is bad when it actually makes them cry. I had done a chicken dance beforehand to get her into the mood. While she enjoyed my song and dance the chicken itself was a no-go. I didn't want to waste it so I tried to give it to the cat. Even Ali turned up her nose at it. She's used to her Fancy Feast Chicken Florentine so I guess plain old bland chicken wasn't cutting it. I'm hoping she will eat some meat at least because she needs the iron. Maybe once I start adding in veggies it will make it more palatable. She was eyeing my chicken alfredo and likely thinking that life just isn't fair. I told her she could eat Mama's food once she has teeth.

Today she is actually six months old and I can't believe it. The time is flying. When I look back at pictures of her as a newborn I see such a huge difference. Her face, her expressions. She's so much more lively and aware. I know that each month will bring new changes and milestones. It's exciting. She tries so hard to talk. I can't wait until she can say a few words. The sounds that she makes now, even when they do sound like words "Hiya" "eh?" don't really count.

It was unseasonably warm and all the snow had melted away so we went for a little walk. It was perfect walking weather because it wasn't too cold and there was no sun so I could leave the top off the stroller and let her look around. She was fascinated by everything. I'm hoping the fresh air will do her good and maybe she'll sleep better tonight...Fingers crossed. A woman out walking with her daughter admired Michelle and said "They're so sweet when they're that small." "Except at night when she doesn't sleep!" I replied. "Yes but you'll forget about that when she's bigger," she told me. Will I?

I keep waiting for things to get easier but I don't know if they ever do. I think as soon as one thing gets sorted out then there's something new to worry about. Now Michelle is a little better behaved in the store. She hums instead of crying herself to sleep in the car. She can play and entertain herself for a few moments on her play gym, Jumperoo and Jolly Jumper. But she barely sleeps. If she has an afternoon nap, she doesn't fall asleep at night. If she doesn't have an afternoon nap she's cranky beyond belief at dinnertime, falls asleep briefly in the early evening and then wakes up and won't go back to sleep all night. So you can't really win. I look back at the days when she used to sleep for 3 or 4 hours at a stretch and think how good I had it. Now I'm lucky to get 4 minutes to myself. But as Mom is quick to point out, soon she'll be walking and running amok in the house and I may look back at these days and think how easy it was when she wasn't as mobile and I could keep track of her at least.

From one day to the next I never quite know how it's going to go. I just have to roll with the punches (and kicks!) and be grateful that there are more good moments than bad, that she is a healthy, happy baby overall and is the light of my life. Who knows what six months and seven months will bring? I can never predict her behaviour. There's still a chance the day will come when she'll fall asleep at 8 o'clock and sleep through the night. Sure. There's a chance I may win Lotto Max too...

Solid food!

Michelle had her first solid food! Rice cereal. I know you're not supposed to start solids until six months but I started a bit early (she's turning six months next week). Considering she was born a week late, technically she's six months old already. She's already outgrown her 6 month old clothes (and some of the 9 month ones for that matter.) She wears 12 month old Winnie the Pooh pajamas and even they're getting snug.

Though I was nervous about experimenting with solid food for the first time, I was anxious to see if it might help her to sleep better at night with a full tummy. Lately she hadn't been sleeping at all (as I mentioned in my previous post she's up until 4 a.m. That's late even for a night owl like me!) She feeds so often (every two hours or less) that I thought she's probably ready for something more.

Michelle also met the other criteria for starting solid foods -- she can sit up on her own now, she has been showing an interest in food and reaching for it, she watches me eat and sometimes mimicks chewing.

I started off small with just a teaspoon of rice cereal mixed with breast milk (it says to just add water but I figured milk would be healthier for her and the familiarity might help her warm up to eating food.) I decided to record the momentous occasion on video (I posted it to Youtube, link below.) If a picture says a thousand words then a video must say at least 10,000. Eating her very first spoonful of food is a milestone in my book! I didn't know how it would go. Would she turn away? Spit it out? Refuse to eat? Make a face? Instead it went very well. I was so relieved she actually ate it. It took a while to feed her even just a teaspoon full.

 

I'm hoping that eating solid food now will fill her tummy and leave her satisfied and sleepy enough to sleep through the night. That is my dream! Oh to have just a few hours to myself in the evening! The things I could do! Working out, a bubble bath, getting things done around the house, working on my computer. Maybe even painting again. Writing songs. Although I actually wrote a song the other day while Michelle was in her Jolly Jumper. I started to get a tune in my head and grabbed my guitar, a pen and paper. Michelle seemed to enjoy the show and danced along to my playing. I'll get around to recording it one of these days. It's so hard to find time for anything anymore. Michelle has become my life. She is certainly worth the sacrifices though I have to admit it is nice to have a little "me" time once in a while. At least after her first couple of days on cereal she started going to sleep at 1 a.m. instead of 4 a.m. so that's a big improvement.

I read that a baby's iron level drops at six months so they really need the iron fortified cereal as well as protein from meat to stay strong. They say to introduce foods one at a time to make sure there are no allergies. So after a week on cereal I'll start introducing other foods. Meat. Then vegetables and fruit. One food at a time for 3-5 days to make sure it's OK before moving on to the next. I hope she'll be a good eater. I've heard from many Moms that struggling with a picky eater can be a huge stress. Every stage will bring new challenges of course. It was fun for me to start giving her food though and I was pleased that it went so well. Just that tiny bit of cereal already affected her poop. It smelled 10 times worse and was a bit more brown than usual. Not quite solid yet but definitely different.

She still watches with great interest when I'm eating. I try to explain to her that she can't have those things quite yet. I tried her cereal when I put my knuckle in to test the temperature. It is pretty bland. At least she seems to like it, of course all she has to compare it to is milk. It will be interesting seeing her reaction to different tastes -- meats and vegetables. I'm hoping she'll be a good eater. She seems to be so far. I just keep hoping for that magical day when she falls asleep at 8 PM and sleeps through the night. It could happen. Sure. Actually I wish they made baby turkey. They have beef and chicken but no turkey. You know how you get drowsy after a big turkey dinner? That would be helpful. Maybe I can suggest it to Gerber...