It's a first!

It was the first time I was going to be working nightshift since having Michelle. I was nervous about leaving her overnight with my Mom. My mother was worried too. Michelle had never spent a night without me. She's never even slept in her crib. We have been co-sleeping since she was born. It only made sense since I was breastfeeding her every couple of hours in the beginning. If I had to keep lifting her out and putting her back into a crib after each feeding neither of us would have gotten any sleep. With her lying next to me she could nurse and then we could both drift back to sleep. Then of course it was such a habit we never got out of it. It's a bonding experience as well. Though I've heard of "sleep training" and certainly had a few people tell me that's what I "should" be doing, it just didn't feel right to me to leave her to scream. I can't do it. I'm a softie. To me, leaving Michelle to scream would be deliberate cruelty and I'm not capable of that (especially to the person I love most in the world). So I really didn't know how Michelle was going to be sleeping at my Mom's without me.

I have been weaning Michelle gradually. I'm going to continue to breastfeed at least once or twice a day as long as I can because I know there are so many health benefits and it's a bonding experience. I was concerned that she refused to drink milk from a cup. It's "Baboo" transitional milk for babies 12-24 months, to get them accustomed to cow's milk. Now that she's not getting as much breast milk I knew that she had to get her calcium somehow. I discovered that she would drink the milk very well from a bottle. She'll only drink milk from a bottle and water from a cup. I guess she thinks milk should always come from a nipple. I was just relieved that she was drinking it at all. My Mom and I were worried what would happen if Michelle just wouldn't go to sleep without being nursed and if she woke up several times in the night to find I wasn't there.

As expected, the first night was pretty rough. Luckily I was able to leave work a little early. I came home to find my poor Mom still up. She hadn't slept at all. "Thank God you're home!" she said. She'd been praying I'd come home early. Michelle was waking up every 45 minutes or so. My Mom didn't have the heart to just let her scream either. She had sung and rocked her to sleep for hours, her arms breaking. Then Michelle finally settled down at 11:30 PM only to wake up less than an hour later. My Mom gave her some milk in a bottle and she went back to sleep but then kept waking up. I felt awful because not only was I not there but I had forgotten to pack Michelle's favourite pink stuffed monkey that she always sleeps with. When I came back to my Mom's in the wee hours of the morning, Michelle was asleep and didn't wake up as monkey and I snuck in next to her. I lay there staring at her for quite a while unable to sleep myself. She kept waking up through the morning and I barely got a couple of hours sleep.

I didn't know how we would get through my shifts. I prayed that things would work out somehow, that Michelle would adjust. My prayers were answered. The next night was a completely different story. My Mom said that Michelle fell asleep at 9:30 PM and SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT! It was a miracle. Mind you she was probably exhausted from not getting enough sleep the previous night. On top of that she had spent a long time running around in the backyard playing with my Dad so that may have worn her out as well. Whatever it was I was so happy and relieved. Hopefully it's a pattern that will stick. One less thing to worry about.

I was feeling guilty about leaving Michelle but as several people have told me it is probably good for her in the long run. She will become a little more resilient and independent. She will learn that yes Mama goes away sometimes but she always comes back. She's getting very close to my Mom and Dad. She is not making strange with people anymore and even lets my Dad and my brother hold her (she never used to let men hold her. She's not used to men.) She seems to be happy and thriving. She's more active than ever and is learning more each day. I am grateful to have my Mom and Dad to watch her while I'm at work.

Today my family is coming over to celebrate Michelle's First Birthday. I still can't believe it's been a year. I remember a friend telling me that on her birthday she gives her mother roses in honour of what she went through during labour to have her. I've never heard of anyone doing that. I found it so thoughtful. When I think about what I went through to give birth to a 9 lb 4 ounce baby I think Michelle should be giving me roses someday too! Your birthday isn't just the day you came into the world, it's the day your Mom brought you into the world, which is no easy feat!

I went to pick up some balloons for her party and Michelle was so excited in the store she was squirming to get out of my arms. Reluctantly I let her walk around barefoot in the store (before I had kids when I'd see children walking around barefoot in a store I used to think "Why would they let their kids walk on this filthy floor?!" now I understand that if it makes them happy you'd do just about anything. Besides I can wash her feet when we get home.) Everyone was saying how cute she was. She's walking so well now that it looks funny to see such a tiny person walking around the store. One customer was taken aback when she turned the corner and saw Michelle walking down the aisle. The girls in the store said they loved her beautiful red hair and blue eyes. "She's so sweet!" one of them said. "She can be sweet. She can also be a monster sometimes." I said and right on cue Michelle took out her soother and growled like a monster. "Grrr." They laughed and said "OMG! That's adorable!"


Since Michelle can say "ball" (and says it hundreds of times since she loves playing with balls now) I thought she might be able to say "balloon." My Mom said it's a lot to expect two syllable words from a 12 month old. She did try though. It came home "bwoon" and "boon." I am amazed at the words she can say. There seems to be a new one almost every day now. One day when my Mom was watching her Mom was looking for her hat and asking "Where's my hat?" all of a sudden Michelle said "hat" perfectly for the first time. She'd never even tried before and then just out of the blue she says it as though she's been saying it forever. She puts a hat on her head and says "hat." She grabs one of my Mom's hats and says "hat." She's a bit of a diva and likes trying on clothes and looking at herself in the mirror. My Mom has a full length mirror in her downstairs hallway. I have one in my upstairs hall at home. Michelle is always walking over to the mirror to try things on. I can't imagine when she's a teenager! Michelle can say "bee," "bunny," "tree," "head" (well it comes out more like Ed), "cup" (more like bup, referring to her sippy cup.) She's been saying "Mama" for several months. Now she also says "Mommy" and "Mom." She understands so much more than she can say. She even makes associations and reacts to things in conversation, on TV and in song when you don't even expect it. You ask her to get something and you're not even sure she knows what it is but she comes back with it. You say "one" or "first" and she holds up one finger. "She's a genius," my Mom says proudly, "just like you were." And she's a terror sometimes, just like I was. My Mom says it's like having her baby Ann Marie all over again. "I never expected to be looking after a baby at this stage of my life!" my Mom says. "Neither did I!" I say and we laugh.

Around this time a year ago I was 75 lbs heavier and ready to pop. I was staying at my sister's place and wondering when Michelle was going to make her grand entrance/exit. She was late. I didn't want to wait much longer and the doctor said if she didn't come by the end of the week then we'd induce her. I had a little chat with Michelle in utero and explained "Look baby it'll be easier on us both if you come out on your own. Otherwise they're coming to get you!" She listened and I went into labour that night so I didn't have to be induced. It was a rough journey but we both survived it.

Now here we are a year later and I can't believe all that we have been through together. I am so grateful for all of it. I can even look back fondly at the struggles. It wasn't easy being pregnant or going through labour or caring for a newborn, but it was all worth it. Now I look at my sweet little girl, my funny little monster, and it's hard to believe there was life before her. She is everything to me now.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart. I love you so much!

Crib Notes

Michelle slept in her crib! For almost an hour! Hey, it's a start.

While I was pregnant and decorating her nursery I never imagined that Michelle wouldn't actually be sleeping in her crib at all for the first 8 months. She hasn't been in it more than a few minutes here and there since I brought her home from the hospital. Until I actually brought her home I had no idea what it would be like. I had a bassinett in my room next to the bed to have her close to me for the first couple of months and then planned to put her in her crib at 3 months. It didn't quite pan out that way. She hated the bassinett and wouldn't sleep in it at all. I wound up selling it. The crib being that much further away seemed even more impossible.

Lying down was the only breastfeeding position that was comfortable for me and it seemed only natural to have her sleep with me since she was up several times a night to nurse. She would wake up and feed and then we'd both go back to sleep. It was the perfect arrangement. Lifting her up and putting her in the crib after each feeding (risking waking her up and having to sing, rock or otherwise get her back to sleep only to have her wake up in about an hour anyway to nurse again) wouldn't make much sense. It was just far more convenient to have her sleep with me. It was also a bonding experience for both of us. I am 100% an "attachment parent" (I can't relate to the "detachment" or "tough love" parents who would say I should just leave her to cry, should be weaning her etc.) I have to do what feels right for Michelle and me. Attachment and detachment parents will never see eye to eye. Attachment parents put baby first, detachment parents put themselves first and figure baby will just have to conform to their rules. Detachment parents argue that children who are left to cry will become tougher, more independent. Attachment parents would argue that children who feel loved and whose needs are met will be more secure, compassionate, happier and healthier overall (there is some research to back them up as well). Most parents probably try a compromise somewhere in the middle. You may try to cater to baby's every whim but sometimes baby has to conform to your schedule. It is definitely a tricky balance and until you are a parent yourself you really don't know what you'll do. I'm sure it's different when you have more children as well. Since Michelle is an only child she gets all of my love and attention. Someone with several children would probably have to leave them to cry and tough it out on their own a lot because there wouldn't be much time to devote to any one child.

Maybe things would be different if I had a partner who was pressuring me to have Michelle sleep in the crib so we could share a bed together -- I don't think so though. I think even if I had a man in the picture he'd have to fend for himself while Michelle and I shared a bed. (I've heard it isn't safe for a man to sleep in the same bed with a child because men don't have the same maternal instinct and may sleep too soundly and roll over onto the baby.) As it is, I'm all Michelle has and she's all I have. Sharing a bed makes sense for us, other than the safety issue now that she's so rambunctious. I will always do what I feel is best for Michelle, always put her first, no matter what the sacrifice. I believe that love is the greatest gift I can give her. If she feels loved and her needs are met then I believe that gives her a solid foundation for the rest of her life. Obviously not everyone agrees. I don't pretend to be an expert. I'm a first (and only!) time Mom and learning as I go. When it comes to nutrition etc, I try to do the right things according to the experts and the latest research. The doctors all agree that breastfeeding is one of the best things you can do for your baby and the longer you can nurse them, the better. There are health benefits, physically (it boosts their immunity) and mentally (studies have shown that breastfed babies are more intelligent) as well as emotional benefits and bonding. When I have questions or problems I'm grateful to have a support network (namely my Mom and sister!) to turn to for advice, support, encouragement. They have been a lifeline for me. Though I don't always agree with my Mom (her generation did many things VERY differently) I still depend on her expertise as a Mom of four. Sometimes there are so many conflicting answers and no clear solutions and I just have to rely on my own instincts, what I feel in my gut to be right.

To me, it doesn't feel right to let Michelle cry. Since she can't talk, it's her only way of communicating. It wouldn't feel right to ignore her if she needs something. Even if I am spoiling her, I can't help it. Someone told me you can't spoil a child with love. The only time Michelle ever cried more than a minute was when it was unavoidable (like when I was driving on the highway.) As a single Mom, it's not an option to leave her. I have to take her with me everywhere. Sometimes I did avoid driving or going out just to avoid upsetting her (as I mentioned I even started ordering my groceries online.) Even while driving I'd try to comfort her by reaching into the backseat to give her her soother etc. Or singing bar after bar of The Wheels on the Bus (because for some reason that one song stopped her from crying) until I ran out of people and things to be found on the bus (it was getting rather ridiculous but if it kept her happy, I'd keep it going. "The cow on the bus goes Moo, Moo, Moo...")

Though I do still plan to co-sleep with Michelle, I have learned (the hard way -- if you read my last post, "Off the rails." She fell out of bed. She may not have been traumatized by it but I was!) that I can't leave her to nap in my bed anymore if I'm not going to be there next to her. She moves too quickly and can crawl over the edge in seconds. So in the early evening and during her afternoon nap, I've been trying to put her in her crib for her own safety. One night I even managed to transfer her from the bed to the crib so I could have a shower and know that she was safe. I still rushed just in case she woke up and got frightened (I always imagine I hear her crying when I'm in the shower so I never really get to enjoy a shower. I used to like long hot showers. Now my showers are about 2 minutes or less.) But at least I knew she couldn't roll out of it. I was relieved to turn off the water and hear silence.

I'm also getting Michelle used to being in the crib by letting her play in it when she's wide awake and in good spirits. I put a couple of her toys in it and played peekaboo with her favourite fish puppet. Since I don't have a playpen, the crib seemed like just about the only safe place to leave her for a moment while I try to put laundry away. I can't turn away for a second now that she's learning to stand because she CONSTANTLY pulls up on everything and I'm afraid of her banging her head. She laughed and seemed happy playing in the crib until I tried to leave the room to put some laundry away. "Mama's right here," I assured her and came back before she could get too upset. She started really having fun with it and pulling herself up on the rails to stand. At least when she fell back on the mattress she couldn't get hurt. I even got some video of her playing in her crib:

Her first hour sleeping in the crib happened during an afternoon nap. She fell asleep in my arms and I thought, this is my chance. I very gently placed her in the crib. I thought that maybe if I left my pajama top next to her it might be comforting to her to have my scent nearby. It seemed to work. She slept for close to an hour. Later that evening I did the same thing and it worked again. When I went to check on her, I found her snuggling my pajamas. I had a flashback of her father. He was so dependent on me, like a big baby himself, even at 32 years old. He never wanted me out of his sight. He sulked when I had to go to work. One morning I came home after nightshift and found him sleeping with his face buried in my pajamas. It was so sweet I took a picture. I teased him about it later. He admitted that it was comforting to him to have my scent there. "Your pjs smell sweet, like you." I will still never understand how he could leave. Whether it was love or even just dependency, it seemed like he couldn't live without me for a second. Then inexplicably he disappears, forever. Maybe he resented being dependent on me. Maybe he realized that once the baby was in the picture she would get all of my attention and he would be pushed aside. Who knows? Seeing Michelle sleeping with my pajamas reminded me of him though. I still can't fathom how he could leave her. I know I wasn't always a picnic to be around (especially while pregnant and hormonal) but how could he leave his own child?

While I was pregnant with Michelle and getting the nursery ready my Mom suggested that I may not even end up using the crib. My sister had been co-sleeping with my nephew so he hadn't really used the crib. "Oh no," I assured her, "the baby will definitely sleep in the crib." I figured I would need my space, my privacy and my sleep. I was also nervous of the idea of sleeping with the baby. I thought I might roll over on her or suffocate her or something. Once I brought her home, all my plans were out the window. I realized that your maternal instincts prevent you from rolling over on your baby. As one nurse told me, it's only in North America that people frown on co-sleeping. In Europe, it's the norm. She said that unless you are obese or use drugs or alcohol, you would always be alert enough to wake up at the baby's slightest movements so there would be no danger of rolling on her. She did add that this doesn't apply to men who don't have the same instinct and can sleep more soundly(probably why when a baby cries in the night it's usually Mom who gets up, though maybe the men are just better at pretending to sleep.) As far as needing my space or privacy, that was out the window too. It's strange because although I never planned to have children, the moment I found out I was pregnant, a feeling of love and protectiveness came over me. A latent maternal instinct, that I never knew I had, rose to the surface. I couldn't imagine me as a Mom. I thought I was too selfish, too independent, too impatient. The thought of the responsibility terrified me. When my doctor asked me once if I thought about having children I told her I was too immature. She said that admitting that was a sign of maturity. She told me that because I realize what a huge responsibility children are,  I would make a good Mom, that some people blunder into it with no thought of how much work a child is. It was a strange feeling being pregnant. Something that I didn't even think I wanted, something that terrified me beyond anything was now the greatest joy of my life. Suddenly this little person who didn't even exist before was the most important person in the world to me. I have sacrificed everything for her -- body, soul, finances, lifestyle. I give her all of my time and energy. Everything is for her now. It's funny because I know women who wanted children so badly but then after having them felt overwhelmed and couldn't wait to get back to work to get a break, after just two months on mat leave. They went stir crazy being home with baby and back to work even though the cost of daycare was as much as they were earning at their jobs and spend only an hour a day with their kids after work, even getting a sitter on the weekends so they can go out. Meanwhile I never planned to have kids at all and now I can't even bear to be away from her for an hour! So the moral of the story is -- you just don't know. You may think you know what you want (or don't want) in life, until life actually happens to you and you find out who you really are. I knew that I wanted love in my life. I thought it was romantic love but it turns out it is the love of a child, which is deeper, more true than anything I've experienced. And it's worth all the sacrifices in the world.

I managed to sneak her into her crib again and she's sleeping as I type this (knock on wood!) My fantasy now is that one day she will actually sleep in her crib for the whole night. Maybe one day. When she's ready. Having my bed to myself again and being able to sprawl out would be a bit of a treat. I have to admit I would miss sleeping next to her though. I know that it will be tough on me (maybe even more so than on her) to give up breastfeeding when I do. I will miss that bond between us. Sometimes I watch her sleeping next to me like a little angel and I feel like the luckiest person in the world. It more than makes up for the times when she keeps me up all night driving me crazy!

Off the rails

The unthinkable happened. Michelle fell. Now that Michelle is more mobile, she's a danger to herself and I'm not sure what I'm going to do. She loves pulling up, crawling, climbing, lunging. Her most dangerous stunt so far was diving over the rail at the side of the bed. If I'd been one second sooner I would have caught her.

We've been co-sleeping from the beginning. Although she has a crib she has never spent more than a few minutes in it (minutes of her screaming bloody murder I might add). Because I was breastfeeding her every two hours through the night it just seemed the natural thing to do to have her sleep next to me. She would wake up to nurse and then (when I was lucky) go right back to sleep. It was the only way I got any sleep at all. Any time I tried to put her in her crib, she just wouldn't have it. I had a bassinett and wound up selling it. Until I actually had her at home with me I had no idea what it would be like. She wouldn't sleep anywhere or any way except next to me.

People talk about "sleep training" where you just leave your baby to cry with the assumption that eventually she'll wear herself out and fall asleep and over time she'll learn that this is just how it is, crying less and less each night. The problem is although that may work for ordinary babies, Michelle is far from ordinary. I think she could probably scream all night if I left her there. Which I wouldn't. I'm a softie. Even at my most frustrated moments, the longest I could ever leave her to cry in the crib was 5 minutes. Well it was probably more like 3 minutes but it felt like an eternity. Sometimes when we were in the car and she was unhappy she could scream for almost an hour (and let me tell you I don't think there are too many things as stressful as driving with a screaming baby. Thank goodness she seems to enjoy car rides now overall. She either sleeps or sits contentedly looking out the window most of the time now. Though of course now that I've said that, it probably won't happen again. Just when I think things are getting better or eaiser in some way, it changes.) So now I don't know what to do about the sleeping situation. Leaving her to cry in the crib just seems cruel but letting her sleep in my bed is no longer safe now that she's crawling and climbing around. Ironically it says Safety First right on the rail but then again they do warn you on it, in fine print that it is no substitute for a crib and should only be used for children that are old enough to climb out of an adult bed normally. It used to hold her in when she could do nothing more than roll but she's an acrobat now and you can't keep her still.

Michelle tries to pull up on everything now so I have pillows all over the family room. I've been worried about her falling on the hardwood floor when she tries to stand by the ottoman. I wasn't even thinking of her falling in my room because the only time she's in my room is when she's sleeping. As soon as she wakes up I hear her and run to her before she'd have a chance to do anything anyway (or so I thought). My Mom kept bringing it up. She kept saying that Michelle could even sneak out of bed when I'm lying next to her. I told her there is no way that would happen. When I'm next to her my maternal instincts kick in if she stirs in the slightest. The problem is when I'm not there. I guess from now on I'll just have to try to put her in her crib when she falls asleep, even though she'll likely wake up instantly, screaming. I thought the bed was safe enough. I had a rail on one side and a body pillow on the other. I also had pillows at the foot of the bed. Surrounded by barriers, she would sit up and cry and I would come and get her before she could move. Unfortunately these days she's moving a lot more and a lot faster. I didn't get there in time.

Michelle had been cranky that day. She'd only had a short morning nap and no afternoon nap. We had a nice visit with Tara and Elena (I'd spoken with her online and felt like I knew her but we hadn't actually met) mid-afternoon. Ironically we had even discussed sleeping arrangements. Tara had a convertible crib for Elena and had that against the bed, with high railings to keep her safe. I just had a short white railing thing that my Mom had given me on one side and a body pillow on the other.

If Michelle didn't have an afternoon nap then she'd be falling asleep at dinnertime and wouldn't sleep at night. I couldn't have that. Though it was a little cold and windy out I took Michelle for a walk after they had left. As expected she was out before I even got to the end of the street. She remained asleep long enough for me to make and eat my dinner then woke up just in time to be nursed. To my surprise she fell asleep again while nursing. "Oh dear" I thought, "she won't sleep tonight now." I had to go to the washroom really badly (I'd been holding it a while which tends to happen. I don't always get a chance to go while Michelle is up.) As I was sitting in the bathroom I heard Michelle start to cry. I rushed as quickly as I could "Mommy's coming! I just had to go potty!" I called out to her. I washed my hands and as I went to dry them, my heart stopped. I heard a loud THUD and then her screaming. OMG OMG OMG. If I'd been just one second sooner I would have caught her. I couldn't believe it. There she was, face first on the carpet. She had gone right over the railing. Ironically the rail which was supposed to keep her safe had caused her to fall from an even greater height. Thank God the floor is carpeted. Thank God she was OK. I called my Mom immediately and told her what happened. Of course she couldn't resist saying "I told you so! You have to have her sleep in her crib!" She said that Michelle couldn't have been hurt too badly because she wasn't even crying anymore. I tried to see if there was a bump or anything. I couldn't tell. Her eyebrow looked a little red. I held some ice in a cloth on it. Michelle thought that was funny and laughed at it. She seemed in good spirits. I was so relieved. It could have been really bad.

So I may have to put her in her crib for her own safety. The problem is that neither of us may ever sleep again. The other option is for me to just never do anything in the evening but sleep next to her. Or I could take the mattress and box spring off the frame and put it on the floor so at least there wouldn't be as far to fall and cover the floor with pillows. I wish I could fit in the crib and then I'd sleep in there with her! It's so difficult because the only way she ever falls asleep is breastfeeding next to me. I usually fall asleep too and so we get through the night waking and feeding and going back to sleep. If I have to lift her and put her back in her crib each time, it'll wake us both up. My Mom has an answer for that too. I shouldn't be feeding her so often anyway and she has to be weaned and blah blah blah. Of course in her day you only fed your baby every four hours and weaned them completely by six months, giving them cow's milk. She was giving me solid food when I was six weeks old. No wonder I have so many intestinal problems! I told her that back then they didn't know any better. Back then they didn't even know smoking was bad for you and probably allowed it in the hospital. She said yes they did. Some women were even smoking while they were nursing their babies in the hospital. So there you go. Next time Mom says "in MY day" I'll remind her of the smoking Moms.

Hearing that THUD was one of the worst moments of my life. I can't bear for Michelle to ever be hurt. She's had so many near misses (almost banged her head on the crib and changetable while crawling but I blocked her in time, almost hit her head on the hardwood in the living room, almost ran into the corner of a bookshelf unit.) I guess she was bound to have an accident at some point. Unfortunately even when she's walking and doesn't fall, I still have to worry. Kids are always getting hurt. My nephew was running and dancing around and hit his head on the corner of the wall. What can you do? You can't bubble wrap your kids and your entire house and the entire planet. There is a show called "Bubble Wrap Kids." I caught a little of it one day and I could relate to the Mom wanting to control everything and not let her children get hurt. The problem is that if you protect your kids too much, you don't really allow them enough freedom to explore and enjoy life. My Mom tried to protect us. She worried about us so much we weren't allowed to go anywhere or do anything. I was the only kid in my class that didn't get to go on trips. They were going to Quebec one time and my Mom wouldn't let me. I had to stay behind and do a project on Quebec while everyone else got to actually be there. I don't want to hold Michelle back from doing things but at the same time I will worry any time she's out of my sight. I worry even when she's in my sight!

Michelle did eventually fall asleep later that night. She was up playing and laughing for hours. Now as she slept like an angel, I watched her, feeling so relieved and grateful that she's OK. She didn't even seem to have a mark on her. I remembered the words of a nurse in the hospital after I had Michelle. She was giving me pointers on breastfeeding and caring for a new baby. She said I was too gentle with Michelle. That I had to be more forceful when I tried to make her latch on to feed. "People think babies are fragile, like eggs but they're really hard-boiled eggs. They're more resilient than you think."

My little hard-boiled egg was fine the next day. She didn't even have a bump. There was a red dot, hardly more than a speck on her eyebrow where she'd landed. My Mom couldn't see anything. Michelle didn't learn anything from the incident. She was still lunging and leaning over and climbing everything fearlessly. Either she'd forgotten the fall or she figured it probably wouldn't happen again because Mom will always run to catch her. I'm still torn on what to do about the situation. I think I'm just going to try never to leave her alone. It's harder to get things done. I'm typing this with her sleeping in my arms and then I'll crawl into bed with her. She's safe while I'm there. Even though she's OK, I still feel guilty that it happened. The idea of leaving her in a crib to scream for hours instead of putting her in a bed which she fell out of once and cried for 2 minutes doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe I'll see if I can fit in the crib...I heard of a grown man crawling into a crib once as a joke on his wife. She didn't find it funny. I'm assuming he was drunk. Anyway, I better get some sleep while I can. Who knows what my little egg will be up to next?