Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Mom's the word
It was my first Mother's Day as a Mom. I didn't get a card from Michelle of course. She did say "Mama" though which I am happy about. Unfortunately "Dada" has been resurrected as well. She had stopped saying it for a while and now has started again. She's also been adding other sounds and words to her repertoire. The cutest thing she does is growling like a tiger whenever she sees a picture of a tiger. And she's started saying "Awww" when I go "awww" at her doing something cute. She's already learning how to manipulate me. If she grabs off my glasses or smacks me in the face and I say "No! That's not nice! Be nice to Mama!" she nuzzles into me or touches my face gently to make up for it and then I say "Awww. That's a nice girl." When she looks up at me and says "Mama" I could forgive her for just about anything.
Being a single Mom is more than a full-time job. 24-7 with no help. I didn't get much of a break on Mother's Day either. Michelle is starting to make strange. She cries when my Dad tries to take her. She was even reluctant to let my sister hold her. It's really tough on me because I'm used to giving my arms a bit of a rest when we visit. Usually my Mom, Dad, sister and brother take turns holding her. Now she fusses and reaches for me when anyone else takes her. She is still pretty good for my Mom. She better not make strange with my Mom or we'll really be in trouble! I'm relying on Mom to watch Michelle when I return to work. I still don't know how on Earth I'm going to survive leaving her.
It's still hard for me to accept how fast time is going by. I can't believe she's going to be a year old in a couple of months. I've had several strangers tell me how "tall" she is when we're out and they ask how old she is. When I say "Nine months" they're in shock. She is wearing 12 month old clothes. When I put her in a dress and she stands up she looks like a little girl to me. I can picture her twirling around on her toes. She already tries to dance and loves standing on her toes. My Mom noticed that Michelle thinks she can walk. She will be holding onto the ottoman and suddenly go to turn and step away as though she could just walk across the room but then she only makes it a step before she stumbles. She knows someone (usually me!) will always be there to catch her. A couple of times she has managed to just stand, holding onto nothing. "Wow!" I think, "she'll be walking any minute" but then she'll notice "Oh wait, I'm not holding anything!" and her legs buckle under her.
I did get a card on Mother's Day, from my Mom. She said how proud she is of me and what a good Mom I am to Michelle. It meant a lot to me. Though I do make mistakes along the way, I am doing my best. My Mom may not always agree with my methods (things were very different in her day) but she sees how much I love Michelle, how devoted I am to her, how I would do anything for her. Since becoming a Mom myself I appreciate my own Mom more than ever. I realize now that being a mother is the most difficult (and the most amazing) job in the world.